Heartbreak Warfare
by cucumber07
Summary: Sam never imprints and it seems that Leah will get the semi story book ending with the love of her life she's always dreamed of. Until she joins Jacob's pack and finds she's not as content as she thought. Epilogue up.
1. Prologue

In La Push, sunshine was a rare delicacy. So when there were no clouds in the sky and temperatures were at a strange high on the day of a wedding, you can imagine the cliché comments the bride and groom were receiving.

"See, mother nature gives her blessings.." Leah's mother combed through her long waves, the beautiful condition of her hair another oddity.

It was the day she had been waiting for. Six months of preparing, of planning and tasting. Of fittings and families oozing their happiness. It should have been the best day of her life, she should have been exited, she should have had butterflies and been excitedly rushing around trying to look her best.

Instead she sat and stared at her reflection. The tears threatening her makeup, the sobs threatening her veneer. She wanted to run away, to rip the carefully picked dress off and burn it. She could hear her family members and friends start to giggle as the time ticked, every second counting down to the moment she dreaded most. When she walked down that isle, when she said her vows and agreed to be Sam Uley's life partner, his wife, her heart was going to shatter.

Because his was.

She felt her brother's presence as he approached her, taking her arm and leading her to the door. Everything was hazed, nothing was clear anymore. Everything was silent, though she could see people talking to her and knew the music was playing she heard nothing. Nothing but a heartbeat.

His heartbeat.

She felt the tears forcing their way to the surface, angry with her for what she was doing. Seth looked to her with a sympathetic yet almost patronizing expression. Both of them knowing the consequences of what she was about to do. He saw her tears and squeezed her hand.

"You don't have to do this Leah… it's your choice." His words broke through the barrier of silence she had created, pulsating through her mind as they began to walk.

As they made their way down the isle, the sun illuminated every color and object. Everything was bright and beautiful, the flowers almost blinding. The grass the greenest she had ever seen it, the sky an almost unbelievable shade of blue. Everyone was staring at her, all smiling and chuckling excitedly as Seth led her to Sam, handing her off when they reached the alter. She looked back to him, on the verge of a breakdown, but he only nodded. Moving to take his place with the others.

_Dearly Beloved….._

It began, the preacher started the ceremony as Sam took her hands. His smile burning holes through her. She tried to stay focused but let her eyes wander, landing on the only person she wanted to be near.

His face was hard, his eyes reflecting just what she was feeling. His own angry tears threatening his stony eyes. They made eye contact and it was almost to much. Everything they had been through, everything they had done flashed between the two in a matter of seconds. Both remembering every word, every wish, every night they spent together.

_Do you, Sam Uley…_

Leah shifted, her eyes never leaving Jacob's. It was coming.

_Take Leah Clearwater…_

Jacob didn't move, only stared. His eyes tearing into hers as they stood hoping time would suddenly just stop and let them leave.

_To be your lawfully wedded wife?_

She felt the first tear fall and trickle down her cheek, landing on her chest. The entire pack was watching, all knowing what was going on, but none could say a word. It wasn't their fight.

_I do._

It was her turn, and he knew what was coming. His world was spinning, there was nowhere left for him to fall.

_Do you Leah Clearwater…_

Her hands went limp inside Sam's grasp, she didn't want to listen. She didn't want to answer. She wanted him to take her away, to save her.

_Take Sam Uley…_

He closed his eyes, unable to watch hers when she said it. To watch the lie play out, to watch her fall into his bullshit love story, knowing what he had told her.

_To be your lawfully wedded husband?_

A sob escaped, the tears flowing heavily. She stared at Jacob, watching as he closed his eyes and partially turned away from her. She realized that it was her turn to speak, to answer. She choked.

His eyes opened with her silence, catching her gaze again and cocking his head. Her tears calling for him to make it stop, to make her happy like he knew he could.

Sam cleared his throat, shaking Leah's hands slightly. Her eyes moved around the platform, to her brother and the pack, to the pastor and to Sam. She tried to speak but was unable, finding no words.

Everyone started muttering, the crowd shifting uncomfortably as she stayed silent.

"_Leah? Will you take Sam Uley to be your husband?" _

**a/n. So, here's the beginning of story number 4. (: I'll be updating I Run to You tonight, It All Started With a Promise was updated earlier today. Reviews are always welcomed. Let me know what you think.**


	2. The Beginning

_Six months before prologue…._

_Lightning strikes_

_Inside, my chest to keep me up at night_

_Dream of ways_

_To make you understand my pain. _

"Leah please, don't do this.." Sam pleaded with her, fairly angry with the decision she was making.

"Sam he's my brother, I'm not just going to let him run off and get himself killed." Leah rolled her eyes at his rising frustration over the matter. She wasn't moving out of state, she'd just be with Jacob's pack over at the Cullen's.

"I don't think it's safe… I don't want you to get hurt. Jacob is being reckless and I don't want you to be caught up in the consequences…" He took her hand, trying to lead her back to La Push. Away from Cullen land.

"I've already made my decision, I'm not with your pack anymore. It doesn't change anything between us Sam, I still love you and we'll still be married in six months time… I just have to do this. I have to make sure Seth will be okay." She pulled her hand away, smiling at him brightly and turning to continue on her way to speak to Jacob.

"I love you, Sam. Don't worry. We're still on for dinner tonight so don't forget…" She winked before vanishing into the dark green forest, the leaves and branches hovering above her as she walked.

She moved slowly, knowing it wouldn't be easy to talk Jacob into letting her join. He'd get frustrated and angry when she started pushing, he'd tell her no fifty times and try to stomp off. In the end though, she knew she could win. They were a lot alike in a lot of ways, stubbornness being their number one resemblance. The large mansion came into sight and she caught all their scents, including Seth's, all at once. Leading her to the river's edge to find Jacob sitting on a rock, scowl in place.

"Hey Jake…" Leah spoke softly, sitting on the wet ground beside his rock.

"Hey Lee, everything okay?" He didn't look at her and kept his voice low, his face very distant.

"Yep, just wanted to let you know that I'm a part of your pack now.." She smirked when he made eye contact, obviously taken aback by her statement.

"Ummm.. No… no you're not.." He chuckled slightly, watching as her face didn't change, indicating that she was dead serious.

"Leah, dammit, don't do this! I don't need someone else to worry about!!" He stood up and instantly began fuming, just as she predicted.

"Jacob, you know as well as I do that you wont have to worry about me. If anything I can help you. I'll run double patrols and help keep an eye on Seth, I'll even watch over the bloodsuckers whenever you're tired. Please Jake…"

He stopped and ran his hands down his face, the idea of another member to help run patrols not seeming to bad at that moment. She approached him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I just want to be sure that Seth is okay, I wont bother you. I'll keep my mouth shut, no making fun of Bella or anyone else, no smart comments. I know the deal…"

He turned to face her, sighing heavily before nodding. She smiled gratefully, throwing her arms around his neck and squeezing. He didn't hug her back, only waited until she was finished and walked away toward the Cullen's.

"Be here tonight at ten, that's your first patrol… don't be late…" Jacob said over his shoulder while passing through the trees.

She laughed at how easily he caved, though he didn't seem to be in much of an argumentative mood. Leah phased and gave her brother the news, though he didn't appreciate her thinking she needed to look after him, he was pretty glad to have her around. Patrolling getting pretty lonely since he and Jacob rarely patrolled at the same time, one always being at the Cullen's to keep an eye on Bella.

So that was it, she had left Sam's pack and joined Jacob's. Left her husband to join up with a lovesick shape shifter who was still clinging to his delusional hopes that Bella would stay human and maybe one day be with him. She scoffed at her thoughts, wishing she could somehow make him see the truth. Though he would never listen to her, why would he? She had everything she wanted, other than being a shape shifter and losing her father, her life was perfect. She had Sam and their fairy tale relationship, she had her family and friends, the pack. He would only tell her that she could never understand and dismiss any and all advice she gave. So she just kept all her thoughts to herself and let him do what he thought was best for himself, although his choices were slowly destroying him.

* * *

She made beef stew and biscuits, Sam's favorite. As she sat waiting for him she was silently hoping that their time together that night would be different. That maybe they might actually talk about something, or have a little fun, anything other than have sex. Their relationship had become so boring, and although she would never, ever, ever, ever, tell anyone or say anything to Sam, she was quite miserable most of the time. To her pack mates and friends, family and onlookers, they looked like the perfect couple. Always smiling and cooing at each other, never arguing or disagreeing on anything, but behind closed doors it was so much different.

They didn't have giant emotional explosions or fist fights, they never threw things or screamed. It was all just so, blah. There were no dates or picnics, no days when they would just go out running. They just ate dinner, watched TV, visited with everyone, and slept together. That was all. Nothing more, nothing less. She loved him, God knows she did. More than anything. She just couldn't help but feel like it was supposed to be more, like it was supposed to be so much more passionate and raw. That he was supposed to be so in love with her, the way she was in love with him, that he would go out of his way to make her happy. To do stupid cheesy things that she actually hated, but would love just because he had done them for her. She wanted him to show her, to prove to her that he loved her the way he said he did. His words seemed empty, he said them, but there was nothing to back them up. Nothing to make her really feel them.

She went out of her way for him, doing anything he wanted to do, going anywhere he wanted to go and never protested. Sure she was a bit stubborn and sarcastic sometimes, and her temper tended to get the better of her on most occasions, but she always went out of her way. She heard him enter through the backdoor and looked to find his regular smile, with his regular clothes, and his regular walk. Nothing changed, nothing ever changed.

"Hey baby… oh man you made my favorite. Come on lets eat…" He pecked her cheek and made himself a bowl, sitting at the table and beginning his meal.

She did the same, sitting across from him and hoped maybe her being in Jacob's pack would bring something new. Maybe not between her and Sam, but for herself. She was so bored, Sam never wanting her to be "in danger", and rarely broke routine. She was like them, a protector of La Push, and felt that if she had to turn into a giant dog, she might as well do her job. Being in Sam's pack held her down, suffocated her even. She wanted to be able to run, to patrol and do things like she had done in the past. Before Sam got some strange protective stick up his ass she fought vampires and helped out just as much as anyone else, which was probably the reason Jacob agreed so easy. He knew she wouldn't be a burden, because she could take care of herself. Sam just didn't seem to want her to be able to, he wanted to be the protector, the alpha. That's not what she needed. She needed an equal, a partner. Something Sam just couldn't grasp. She hoped that it was the beginning of something better, something bigger than just her and Sam.

Though she didn't quiet realize the weight her hopes carried.

* * *

**a/n. Creating new story lines always make me feel better. Lol. Let me know!**


	3. Understanding

_Two weeks later…_

_Clouds of sulfur in the air_

_Bombs are falling everywhere _

_Its heartbreak warfare_

Two weeks of non stop running, two weeks of keeping tabs on her brother and two whole weeks of Leah having the time of her life. You would never think that someone could gain so much joy from sniffing around miles and miles of ground or watching after a coven of vampires, but she was. She woke up and the first thing she wanted to do was leave, to run freely and do whatever she wanted. She knew that she was starting trouble, and facing it was inevitable, but she started lying to Sam. He'd want to snuggle up and watch a movie, she'd get Jacob to call him and tell him that she was needed, he'd want to take her to visit with his pack and family, Jacob would call five minutes before they left. In two weeks time she and Jacob had created a system. A very simple, very workable system.

She helped him out with anything he needed, and he'd do the same.

"_You can go home, I've got it from here. Just come back in the morning.._" Jacob's said softly, his large wolf frame emerging from the woods and falling in beside hers on the trail.

"_Nah, it's okay. I'll run with you for a while.._" She nudged him playfully, earning light chuckles from him, something she didn't hear very often. His mood usually quite dismal.

"_Alright, but you can go home whenever you're ready. Seth has house duty tonight…_"

They ran for probably two hours before stopping at their designated rest area, Leah phasing and throwing a t shirt on to check her phone.

"Thirteen missed calls… damn… I wonder who they're from??" Leah said sarcastically, rolling her eyes knowing that Sam probably had a search party out looking for her.

She heard Jacob laughing as he dressed himself, walking over to her and peeking at her phone.

"Oh goodness, it's Sam… that's strange, he never calls.." Jacob returned the sarcasm, smirking at her before seating himself on the ground.

She sat down beside him and dialed Sam's number, unintentionally staring at her new alpha. His eyes catching hers after a few seconds, but instead of shifting her gaze, she just continued to stare.

"Leah where the hell are you??? We were supposed to have dinner like three hours ago!!!" Sam's voice boomed from the other end of the phone. It was pretty loud, but failed to shake the strange staring competition the two were having.

"Uh.. I'm sorry… I forgot to tell you that I had to do another patrol… I should have called, I know." She said absently, studying Jacob's oddly colored irises. The green and brown mixing making them favor the forest a great deal.

"Leah this is getting ridiculous, I mean ever since you joined his pack you--…" His voice faded after that, her mind completely focused on the seemingly haunted set of eyes in front of her.

Jacob turned around completely so that he was facing her, resting his elbows on his knees, a fairly amused expression present.

"What?" She mouthed to him, Sam still fuming and yelling into the phone.

He shrugged and laughed quietly, peeking up at her from under his brows.

"Are you listening to me??" She had to force back her laughter while answering Sam who seemed to only be getting angrier.

"Yes, and I'm sorry. Look I'm still on patrol I'll have to call you back…" She slapped the phone shut before he could answer her, not really wanting to listen to anymore lectures.

"Now that wasn't very nice, first you dodge dinner with him, then you only half listen to him and now you hang up on him… how very un "perfect girlfriend" of you…" Jacob teased, laying back on the grass and turning his attention to the sky.

"I just get tired of it sometimes… it all just gets old. He's so… boring…" She hadn't meant to be so honest, she had never even told her best friends about her feelings towards Sam and their relationship.

Jacob sat up and stared at her with a bored expression.

"You mean…. the fairy tale love story isn't all its cracked up to be? Strange, I thought it would be so… magical?" He scoffed, returning to his rested position.

She rolled her eyes and began fidgetting with her fingers, unsure of why she wanted to explain it to him.

"I didn't say it was terrible, it just isn't what I expected. I hate being stuck all the time… he never wants to go anywhere or do anything… I just feel trapped sometimes…"

She crawled over to lay down beside him, her eyes wandering over his features, the moon illuminating every detail.

"Then why are you with him?" He asked bluntly, obviously not impressed with her "problems".

"Because I love him…"

"But he doesn't make you happy…" Jacob retorted, turning his head to hers, finding her eyes already planted on him.

"Bella doesn't make you happy…" Leah knew it was a dangerous statement, that it could ruin the pleasant night they were having, but she was right. And she knew it. He knew it.

"I guess we have more in common than I thought." He chuckled lightly, watching the relief wash over her face when he didn't freak out.

"Hey, um, don't say anything to anyone abo--" She of course didn't want anything she said to get back to Sam, and though she knew Jacob and Sam weren't on very good terms, better safe than sorry.

"Sure, because Sam discusses his personal life with me… no worries, you're safe with me…" He winked at her, still smiling brightly.

"Uh huh… I bet. Should we get back to patrolling now?"

He looked back to the sky one more time before sighing and getting up, turning to grab her hand and lift her, placing her a solid millimeter away from his face. Their bodies were pressed together tightly.

"Go home to him, he's waiting.." Jacob whispered into her ear before stepping away and trotting back to the trail.

She stood for a moment, really not wanting to go home. But she had her "orders" and although he hadn't used any sort of command, she knew it was time for her to leave. He was done with company and talking, he wanted to be alone. And that she could understand fully.

* * *

The walk home just wasn't long enough. She decided against phasing, knowing that for one Jacob had made it very obvious that he wanted to be left alone, and if she phased she would get back to her house in record time. Sam not exactly being who she wanted to see at that moment. She walked in the back door, shutting it quietly, the clock reading two thirty AM. Due to the empty kitchen and dimmed lighting she thought she might get through without any disruptions, though her good luck seemed to be fading recently.

"You're late…" Sam was laying on the couch, his arm over his eyes.

"I told you I had patrols.." She spoke quietly, trying to avoid waking her mother, Sue would most defiantly take his side.

"Leah, this is insane. You're out at all hours of the night, you don't call, I never know where you are… this has to stop.." He sat up and looked at her, no sign of anger or hostility, just Sam. The same as always.

"Well I don't know what you want me to do, that's what happens when you're part of a pack. Everyone has to pull their own weight, I signed up and agreed to the terms. You should know, you're an alpha… isn't that how it works.." She folded her arms, getting slightly angrier than she usually would, unsure of the reasoning.

"Yes, I do know. But it's different, you're my fiancé, I'm supposed to take care of you. I cant do that when you're God knows where doing who knows what!" He stood up then, sensing her rising frustration.

"I'm not a fucking child!! I am just like all of you, and I'm just as capable! It's sad that everyone can see that but you….. Since you're the one that's supposed to know me best…" She turned for the stairs, ignoring his calls to her.

* * *

Her argument with Sam did more damage than she had expected, putting her in a very fowl mood the next morning. He ended up losing his temper after she refused to open her door and busted it down, only to be shoved right back out and having the broken door shoved in his face. He left shortly after.

She rushed out of the house, skipping breakfast and ignoring her mother who clearly knew what happened. Sam being Sam most likely ran to her first thing and told her the whole story. It was rather pathetic the way he used Sue against her.

Leah phased as soon as she hit the woods, not caring to much for the clothes she was shredding.

"_Good morning favorite sister of mine!!_" Seth beamed, his smile clear even through thought.

"_Morning Seth.._" She said as cheerfully as possible, her words unable to hide her frustration however.

"_What's wrong?_" He sounded worried, which amused her to no end seeing as he claimed that he hated her daily.

"_Nothing, I'm okay. Just didn't wake up in a good mood I guess_." Had they been in human form she would have easily been able to get by with that statement, her thoughts however, had minds of their own.

"_He's being pretty shitty isn't he?_" Seth stated while flashing her images of where he was, silently asking her to meet him.

"_I guess, why are we meeting?_" She of course wanted to get off subject, her love life not being something she wanted to discuss with her little brother.

"_Bella went into labor… pretty much… she's a vamp and the little thing has been born. Jake wants to let us know what's going on… oh and he said he's got some news for us about the pack…" _

His words hit her harder than they should have, not caring so much about Bella or the spawn, she was terrified that he was going to tell them he was rejoining Sam's pack.

They arrived at the house and she stayed phased, her lack of clothes becoming an issue. Seth understood immediately and gave her his shirt that, just like all of the boy's shirts, were long enough to pose as a mini dress. She took it and dressed herself… sort of. Returning to where he was standing to see Jacob approaching.

His face was pained, honestly he looked sick. She watched him closely, his jaw and fists clenching and unclenching rapidly, his hair a wild mess. He stopped in front of them, taking a deep breath and speaking.

"Okay so… it's a girl… her name is Renesmee.. SHUT UP! I know it's horrible.. Just don't say anything.. Bella is a fucking leech now as you might have guessed. I know you guys don't care so I'll just give you the news that applies to you. Quil and Embry are joining… apparently they aren't getting along with Sam and want to help protect Renesmee and Bella… I just wanted to let you know so you didn't attack them when they crossed the borders…"

Leah couldn't fight the huge smile that had formed, the excitement overwhelming her. Sure she didn't really care for Quil, and she really didn't care that they were joining, she was just happy that she was able to stay out of Sam's pack.

"What's the smile for?" Jacob asked, snapping her from her thoughts.

"Uh.. Nothing… just happy that everyone is okay… and that we'll have someone to help with patrols.." She said sheepishly, her words blatant lies.

"Sure, sure. I bet.." He rolled his eyes but smiled all the same, turning and heading back to the house.

"You guys can go home, Quil and Embry are taking patrols for the afternoon. Go relax or something.." Jacob said with his back turned.

"Oh… well can I come with you?" Leah moved forward, her words stopping Jacob abruptly.

"You're serious?"

Was she really that desperate? She would willingly spend an entire afternoon with the Cullens that she despised than go home and face Sam. He wasn't sure, but wouldn't protest, not seeing the harm in her requests. She was offering help after all.

She nodded, smiling hopefully.

"Sure, I guess… just behave okay?"

She ran to him and they walked slowly back to the house, bumping each other ever so lightly every other step or so. He placed his arm around her shoulder, allowing it to hang there. She had never been one to favor Jacob, but he was growing on her. His understanding with her situation proving to be very comforting. They reached the house and stood at the back door for a moment, his face returning to the hard and fairly angry stature it had been almost the entire time she'd been with them.

"Don't worry, you're safe with me.." Leah whispered in his ear, smiling brightly and loosening his features the slightest bit with her words of encouragement.

* * *

**a/n. A little slow, I know. We all know there will be drama soon enough, and plenty of blackwater. I think this one will be a little less "action" packed, focusing mostly on their relationship and the problems that it causes. If you haven't caught on, Sue will not be a fan… she's on team Sam. Lol. So is most everyone else. I'll be updating my other two either later tonight or tomorrow sometime. Reviews please! Thanks for reading. (:**


	4. Leaving

_Once you want it to begin_

_No one ever really wins _

_In heartbreak warfare._

_If you want more love… why don't you say so?_

_If you want more love… why don't you say so?_

"Leah!! Get your ass down here I need to talk to you!!" Sue bellowed from the bottom of the stairs, clear annoyance lacing her voice.

Leah had crept into her window to avoid any conversation, but her mother seemed to have some sort of radar. Any time she or Seth were in the area, Sue knew about it. She kept quiet for a moment, hoping it would just go away, but of course after a whole two seconds her mom was banging at her door.

"Mom, I'm tired. Please can we talk later?" Wrong question.

Her door flung open revealing a very angry, apron wearing Sue yielding a wooden spoon in her right hand. She propped herself on her elbows, giving her mom her best glare. A complete failure.

"You wouldn't be so tired if you would get your head on strait and come back to the only pack that actually counts for anything! All of this running around and watching after vampires is getting ridiculous!" Sue was yelling, not that it was a surprise. She did it quite often when things weren't going how she wanted.

Leah rolled her eyes as she sat up, growing tired of the constant bashing on her little pack. Sure it was small and they were doing the opposite of what they were supposed to be doing… but it was for a good cause. No the baby wasn't favorable by any means because it was part blood sucker, but it was still a baby. A baby that had the same right they did to live her life as normal as possible, fangs and all.

"Let me guess…. Sam put you up to this?" Leah stated with a very bored expression, playing with a loose string from her comforter.

"No! And even if he did he has every right! You are his fiancé and he rarely sees you anymore, you're always off running patrols or babysitting that parasite. Jacob made his decision and has chosen them over his people, that's his business. But I wont stand by and allow you to fall into his bullshit affairs."

During her time with Jacob and Seth she had learned quite a few interesting details about both of them. All the ones about Seth not really being that intriguing, but the mind of Jacob Black was a captivating and very confusing place. The way she had received it, he loved Bella, but that wasn't the reason he was helping them. He didn't want the Volturi to kill any of them because naturally he had grown pretty fond of the blood drinking brood, but his actual reasoning for trying to keep the Volturi away was strictly logical. If they kept the Volturi away, they kept danger away. From the Cullens, and from their home. It honestly made sense, and had anyone taken the time to listen to him instead of turning their noses up and looking the other way, they may have praised him for it. Instead he was the hated outcast, and they all wanted him dead or gone for good. Which of course given Leah's new found friendship with him, got under her skin the slightest bit.

"First of all _mother_, I'm not a child and I make my own decisions. Second, none of you have the slightest idea why Jacob is helping them because if you did you would be bowing at his fucking feet instead of making him out to be the bad guy. You are all so closed minded and it makes me sick! Don't talk to me about him or our pack anymore because I'm not going to listen to anyone… and I mean **ANYONE**… speak poorly of them again. I'm staying with them and that's just how it's going to be…"

"How can you say that? Sam wants you to return to his pack so badly… how can you do that to him? I mean it's hard for me to believe that you can even stomach those… vermin…" Sue shook slightly thinking of the Cullens.

Now she had her there, the smell and being around them wasn't a cake walk. When her and Jacob visited them earlier that day she found herself holding her breath as much as possible, though most of them were nice enough. Besides Bella, whom she still despised on all counts.

"Mom.. This isn't about Sam. Don't I have any say in the things I do? I enjoy being in Jacob's pack, I'm needed and everything I do is appreciated…." She tried another tactic, maybe trying to talk to her on a personal basis would help her seemingly one track minded mother understand the situation better.

"It has everything to do with Sam dear, he is your future husband. You should put him before anyone and everyone else, he's your life from this point forward. I don't want you to screw it up with him over something so stupid.. Jacob doesn't need you sweetheart. He probably doesn't care the least bit when you're there or not, you're nothing but something for him and the other two idiots that are abandoning their responsibilities to look at while they are holed up in the woods…"

Now that was something every daughter wants to hear from their mother, and enough to not only shut Leah up, but push her right over that thin line she had been walking. For the time being anyways.

She stood from her bed and walked to her dresser, grabbing the first things she saw and throwing them in a small bag. She retrieved her brush from the bathroom along with her tooth brush and some deoderant, then without another word or glance jumped from her window and hurried to the forest. After throwing all the loose items into the bag she zipped it up and phased, grabbing it with her mouth and heading to the Cullen's. She didn't hear anyone, it being dinner time and most of them probably eating whatever Esme and Alice concocted that night.

When she reached the large house she threw on a pair of boy shorts and a t shirt, not caring the least bit what she looked like, and made her way through the back door. All four of her pack members and most of the Cullens were seated at the kitchen table, food all over it, just as she suspected.

"Hey Leah! You hungry? They made the best barbeque I've ever tasted…" Seth of course was the first to greet her, his hate for her obviously non existent.

"Nah, I'm not really hungry.. Thanks though…" She stayed near the door, not at all comfortable with being there.

"Oh come on, you're always hungry. We all are.. Eat something.." Embry pressed, all of them knowing the side effects of being a gigantic animal. She, however, wasn't in the mood to eat. The conversation with her mother and everyone's blatant indifference for what she wanted grinding on her last nerves.

"No really, I don't want anything to eat.." Leah stayed put, only staying long enough to announce her presence for the night.

"What are you doing here? You had the night off…" Jacob watched her carefully, immediately noticing her callous attitude and distant mindset.

"I don't want the night off, I was just coming to let you know that I'll be running patrols.." She finished her sentence while turning for the door, disappearing in a matter of seconds.

"Geez, what's her problem?" Quil asked looking to Seth who was busy shoving another whole sandwich in his mouth.

"I dunno… probably mom or Sam, they are always telling her what to do. They don't like her being here…" Seth mumbled through the half chewed food.

Jacob sat still in his chair, staring roughly at the door. He wanted to go after her, to see what was going on. But he knew that would only complicate things. Letting her know that he gave a shit would only cause her to give a shit, then they both would and he would end up doing something stupid like falling for her and so on so forth. He didn't exactly have the best luck with women, them not being his area of expertise. Sure they all liked him, he was nice and good looking. Strong and could always make you feel safe, but he was complicated. He always wanted what he couldn't have. And although he didn't feel that way for Leah yet, he knew it would come if he allowed it. Her status and the fact that nobody wanted her to be anywhere near him perfect ingredients for disaster. So he sat, ignoring the urge to get up and find her.

"What do you think Jake?" Embry snapped Jacob from his thoughts, noticing immediately that he hadn't been present for the conversation.

Jacob only shrugged, not really interested in what they were talking about. Of course the three of them quickly became interested in where his mind was, the fact that he was in the same room as Bella cancelling out the possibility of it being about her. He ignored his name being called by the three boys as he left the house going nowhere special. He wasn't going to see her, that he knew for sure.

He caught her fading scent that, even in human form, was so distinct to him.

He wouldn't follow.

It was in almost a zig zag pattern as it moved further into the forest.

He refused to follow.

There was another scent, not on Cullen land, right on the edge of the border. A familiar and infuriating scent that he still couldn't stomach, Sam. There was yelling, two voices.

He wouldn't intervene.

She would want him to, because somehow he had become her friend. Her partner. But he wouldn't. It was their affair, their relationship. Not his, and he wouldn't get involved. He had enough problems.

It got louder, Sam's voice bursting through the trees, shaking the branches. Seth and Embry appeared behind him.

"What's going on?" Seth heard them, Sam's voice kept attempting to command her. To make her go home. But she refused, because she could.

"I don't know, he's pissed about something. He wants her to go home…" Jacob answered, catching bits and pieces of the conversation.

"He's being pretty nasty… should we say something?" Seth questioned, hearing Sam's voice elevating with every profanity and demand that she go with him.

"It's none of our business. He's her fiancé, she can handle him. She's not a child." Jacob retorted, being right in every sense.

"If he crosses, then we make him leave." Jacob leaned against a tree, waiting patiently.

"Sam, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told my mother; I can make my own decisions, and I'm staying with this pack. That's the end of it so I don't see why the two of you insist on making this into a big deal…" Leah's voice wasn't shrill or angry, only firm. Her obvious frustrations with the matter being muted to avoid further conflict with her already fuming boyfriend.

So it was about her being with them, with him. Jacob felt a sense of guilt, him letting her join his pack apparently causing a mass of problems between her and everyone back home. He hadn't really thought about it because he and Seth were never there.

"This is exactly why your mother kicked Seth out, do you want her to do that to you? Do you want to sleep outside?" Sam surprised not only Leah, but the other three who were listening, his statement being completely false.

"Mom didn't kick me out, I left because she kept talking shit…" Seth whispered, wondering if his mother had said that or if Sam was just trying to scare Leah.

"Sam just go home, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'll see you tomorrow…" Leah turned her face from Sam's, looking in any direction but his.

He took a step forward, which was more than enough to alert the three who were waiting for him to do just that.

"I really hope you're not planning on coming over here…. You know the rules…" Jacob appeared behind Leah.

"Jacob, I need Leah to come with me." Sam said simply.

"Sorry, she obviously doesn't want to go. I'm not going to make her, and you're about to over step your authority…"Jacob moved so that he was standing beside Leah, careful not to seem interested in their situation, though in truth that was all that had his attention.

"I'll be home tomorrow Sam, we'll talk then." Leah said quickly before turning and walking away, joining Embry and Seth.

"You know she doesn't need to be here. She needs to be home with me, with our family. Doing what we're _supposed _to do, protecting our people." Sam whispered to Jacob, striking a nerve.

It was a simple statement, but coming from Sam it was enough to cause an all out brawl between the two. Their feud running much deeper than just alpha vs. alpha. Jacob knew Sam much better than the others, and couldn't stand anything about him. He was Jacob's definition of asshole, Jacob and very few others knowing the real Sam Uley and what he was capable of.

"It's her decision Sam, I'm not going to tell her what she can and can't do. She'll be welcome here as long as this is where she wants to be…" Jacob returned the hushed tone, neither wanting Leah to hear that their conversations had shifted to her.

"You're only doing this to get at me, I know that. But how long are you going to let it go on? You know that this is going to screw up her relationships at home, the longer she stays the more people will hate her." Sam turned for the woods, his words really not bothering Jacob.

He could have said so much more, he could have yelled and screamed at his one time friend and alpha, told him how wrong he was and that he was being an idiot. But he let him leave, keeping his thoughts and opinions to himself. The fact that Leah deserved so much better annoying him to no end, images of her with Sam making his stomach churn.

He turned and walked to his three awaiting pack members, all of them fairly quiet. Leah seated on a log with her arms folded, trying her best to pretend that her attention was elsewhere and the argument with Sam wasn't bothering her.

"Alright break it up, pick your circuits and start patrolling." Jacob said with a smile, all of them getting up and moving in different directions.

"Hold up Leah, I want to talk to you.."

Leah stopped and turned around to face Jacob, obvious distain on her face.

"Look, I know that you feel like you need to watch over Seth. But if this is causing problems for you at home, I can promise you that I will take care of him. You don't have to be here, and I want you to know nobody will think any less of you if you go back to Sam's pack. I really appreciate everything you've done and for all your help….. It really means a lot… I just don't want to mess things up for you.." Jacob spoke softly, his eyes locked with hers during his statement.

She stayed silent for a moment, never breaking eye contact with him.

"I'm staying.." She said simply, looking to the ground.

He couldn't help but smile, the sick feeling of victory washing over him. As if it were a competition. As if he held any sort of measure with her. He didn't love her. She didn't love him.

Yet…

She tried to walk away.

He stopped her.

She turned away.

He pulled her to him.

"Lets go somewhere." He says in almost a whisper, brushing her hair from her face.

"Where?"

"Away from here, anywhere you want.."


	5. What Do You Want?

_Drop his name_

_Push it in and twist the knife again_

_Watch my face_

_As I pretend to feel no pain. _

They walked for what seemed like forever, and talked even longer. Their conversations focusing mostly on things they would have never believed they would be telling the other. Leah spilling about how unhappy she is in her relationship and everyone taking Sam's side over hers, even her own mother. Jacob confessing his frustrations with Bella and how he lost so much when she died, of course she wasn't actually in the ground sort of dead. But her heart was no longer beating. At some point they sat down in front of a small cavern close to the beach, settling in and continuing their random discussions. Jacob would never be able to explain why he did it, why he took her away and wanted to hear all of her problems. Maybe because he could relate in some ways, maybe he felt for her seeing how far she and Sam had fallen. Maybe it was because he knew Sam better than anyone and could see his true colors beginning to show, and for that he pitied her. He would never be sure and from that point on he wouldn't care, he was doing what he swore to himself he would never do again. It was becoming all to clear as he sat with her and listened intently to every word she said, telling her things from the deepest parts of him he never thought he'd allow to surface.

"Why do you do it then? If being around her bothers you so much and it hurts you to see her that way, why do you protect her?" Leah asked, lying back on one of the large rocks that enclosed their small area.

"It's not so much for her I guess. Sam wants to kill Renesmee, and even though she's not normal I just don't feel like killing a baby is right… half vampire or not. Plus, if I keep the Volturi away from them, I keep them away from La Push…" He mimicked her movements and laid back, turning his body to face hers.

"I cant believe you still think about them after how they have treated you, they've been awful.." Leah rolled her eyes thinking of her mother's words.

"Eh, they don't know any different. I don't mind to much I guess, they either understand or they don't. There's nothing I can do." He shifted uncomfortably as she gave him an accusing expression, knowing it wasn't that simple.

"I mean of course it bothers me, my own dad seems to refuse to have anything to do with me. Nobody will hear me out, but like I said… there's nothing I can do right now. I have to much to worry about. If they don't want to be supportive it's them that will suffer later, not me." Jacob said confidently, throwing her a very boyish and goofy grin.

"Yeah, yeah I guess you're right. Still, I hate how they talk about you. It makes me sick." Leah said with disgust, thoughts of Sam and her mother only feeding her anger towards them.

"At least it's not you, right?" Jacob said sarcastically, his grin spreading a bit wider.

"Oh right, because everything is so perfect for me! Yeah right, most of the time I'd rather sit up there in the crypt and talk about my feelings with the Cullens than go home… Sam is just…. Ugh…" Leah shuddered, Sam's continuous, ritualistic way of being causing her to cringe.

"So… again… why are you with him?" He got up and moved closer to her, sitting so that they were touching.

"Again… because I love him. I mean I've always loved him…. I almost don't know how _not_ to. He's got this hold over me. Even when he's being a complete dick I have that annoying feeling telling me to apologize and let him win… of course I never listen. Being that way just isn't.. me… I guess. I don't like begin cooped up in the house waiting for him to come home, it's so lame.."

Jacob laughed at her choice of words, lame not really seeming to cover it. He didn't respond, only nodded. Then leaned back on the rock, their bodies touching from shoulder to foot, their faces about an inch apart. She turned to face him, his close position not seeming to bother her at all. In fact, she felt a sort of comfort with him there. Like it was supposed to be that way.

"I guess we should get back, the sun is coming up. They'll be worried about you.." Jacob said softly, not wanting to leave.

Or move.

Or speak.

Their time together being the only time he's actually been happy in so long. Her company relieving everything that plagued him on a daily basis. His doing the same for her, giving her that small sense of freedom. Jacob was nothing like Sam, when he spoke to her he did so as his equal. She wasn't any better or any worse, she was the same as him. And that in itself made her favor him over everyone else, their "friendship" seeming to grow quickly with every moment they were together.

"I don't want to go…" Her breath took over him when she spoke, her scent almost driving him insane.

"You know it will only cause more problems if we stay, they will be looking for you…" He tried to reason with her.

Tried to get out of the situation.

Tried to ignore his mind that was screaming at him to let her stay.

Tried to ignore his body that was screaming at him to touch her.

Tried to ignore her body that was screaming for everything Sam wasn't giving her, for everything he knew he could.

Leah didn't protest, but didn't get up either. She continued to stare at him, her eyes slowly breaking down every bit of his self control. Her apparent disregard for the fact that she was with someone else, and her revealing ensemble making it hard for him to fight. The rising light radiating off of her copper skin, her shirt rising enough to show the lower half of her stomach. Her small shorts serving more as underwear than anything else. It was almost to much.

Jacob sat halfway up, posting himself on his elbow. Never taking his eyes off of her. She didn't move or speak, just watched him.

Watched him as he slowly moved himself above her, their faces returning to their close positions. Jacob brushed his nose across hers, placing his forearms on either side of her head and settling his crotch in between her legs.

"What do you want?" He asked quietly, noticing her expression that hadn't changed.

She wasn't uncomfortable, she wasn't confused.

She wasn't afraid or nervous.

She was completely content.

But she didn't answer.

Leah slid her hands ever so slowly up his torso, starting from his waist line and ending at his neck. She pulled him down to her, meeting him halfway and pressing her lips lightly to his. Jacob didn't move, or respond. He tried desperately to convince himself to stop, to make her stop. But as she wrapped her arms around his neck and attempted to deepen the kiss, he couldn't say no. He let go. He rested his body on hers, allowing everything to relax and slipped his tongue in her mouth as soon as she offered entrance. It wasn't sweet or soft, it was a very rough and very passionate kiss, the two of them grasping and clawing at whatever they could.

Jacob lifted her shirt, running his hands up her stomach and squeezing lightly before sitting up. He looked over the exposed skin, his eyes landing on her breasts and tearing away his last bit of control.

"Leah…" He almost pleaded with her, knowing what was about to happen, and fearing she would regret it later.

Again she ignored him, sitting up and pulling her shirt off. She grabbed at the button of his cut offs, slowly undoing it as she kissed his stomach trailing them lower as she slid his shorts off. He became quite frustrated with the situation, knowing that it would make things so much more complicated from that point forward. Maybe not so much for her, but it would for him. Because he knew he would fall for her, why wouldn't he? She was beautiful and strong, she was so much like him and understood him better than anyone. She was the perfect candidate for his downfall. So he pulled her up to his face, holding her shoulders roughly.

"Stop, you know you don't want to do this… think about Sam… I thought you loved him.." Jacob tried to appease her, to make her see what she was going to do.

"I want this, I don't care about Sam. I'm tired of thinking about him and worrying about what makes him happy…. I'm with you right now… just let me have this.." She whispered, hugging his neck and nipping at his ear.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, slowly grinding her hips against him. His battle with his erection being lost with the movements. Jacob sighed heavily, letting his hands trace around her waist to the small of her back. Sliding his fingers slowly up her spine, goose bumps appearing as he did so. He grinned at her reaction, her breaths becoming heavier with every movement he made. He picked her up and carried her to the small cavern, pressing her roughly to the stone floor and ripping her shorts from her hips. Throwing the torn material carelessly to the side.

Leah didn't want to make love with him, she didn't want it to be sensual or sweet. Sensitive and caring. She was tired of that, tired of the constant fear of hurting her. Of being to rough or to hard. Jacob seemed to know, without her saying a word, he knew what to do. He didn't ask, he didn't whisper sweet nothings to her. He picked her up, slammed her into the wall, and pushed himself into her. He gripped her thighs roughly, holding her weight so she didn't have to. It wasn't really about him, it wasn't really about what he wanted, it was her. She needed freedom; to love and _fuck_ however she wanted. She was a shape shifter, she was a wolf. She wasn't fragile in any sense, she wasn't breakable. So he didn't treat her that way. He knew what she wanted, and gave it to her.

He thrust himself roughly into her over and over again, moving one hand to grip the back of her head pulling her to him. Her moans were echoing through the small cave, bouncing off the walls and serving to fuel his growing hunger. Leah gripped him tightly, her nails digging large holes in his back, the blood flowing easily from them. She didn't care, because she knew he didn't. Her loud screams only increased as she grew closer, her mind was all over the place, feelings she never knew were possible to have coursing through her. He gripped her hips and moved harder, faster. His end approaching just as quickly as hers, the rough and unsteady movements making it harder for him to last. As she felt herself drawing close she released him and grabbed the wall, moving her hips with his as he continuously increased his speed.

Her body began to hitch, her grip on the wall impossible to retain as her arms and stomach went almost limp, the only thing she was able to feel was the approaching explosion. So she let go and rested herself on him, his grip on her hips released and he wrapped his arms around her. More hugging her than anything, their bodies in a mass of sweat and tensed muscles. Her stomach tightened, as did her hold on him, as it surfaced. Her screams peaking to an all time high as he pushed her over her limit, her pleas for him not to stop only making him push harder. She stayed latched to him, the thrusts after her orgasm only icing the amazing state she was in. He knew she was finished when he felt her body relax, the slow twitches her muscles gave off causing him to smile a little as he allowed himself to break.

He sat down, still inside of her, and leaned against a rock. Her arms still wrapped securely around him, her face rested in his neck. Jacob kept his arms around her, holding her body tightly to his as they sat there. Both breathing heavily, both completely relieved.

Jacob pulled her to lay beside him, staring at her intently. Waiting for something, anything to tell him what to do next. Give him some sort of hint. Because at that point, he was pretty clueless. She was getting married, he was still half pining over some stupid fantasy that could never be real. Yet, here they were, together. She smiled, running her fingers down his cheek. Now what?

"Thank you…" She whispered, her smile still placed firmly.

"For what?" He returned the soft tone, but couldn't force himself to smile. How could he? He was about to be drug through the same thing he had allowed with Bella. Only worse, because she didn't seem to care about Sam. She was just as into it as he was.

But she would realize, one day soon, that she cant leave Sam. Her family wants it, his family wants it. She said it herself. She didn't know how _not _to love him.

"For this… for understanding…" She moved closer, resting her head in his chest.

He didn't want to hold her.

He didn't want to show her that he did care.

It was just sex, right? That's what she wanted, and being her friend and… well… a guy… he gave it to her. He could hold his resolve.

He could pretend.

He was used to it, he did it daily for a long time.

But he didn't, he wrapped his arms around her. Pulling her tightly to his chest, her fingers tracing circles all over his back as they laid there in silence. She fell asleep there, completely at ease.

When he knew she was sound asleep, he got up. He found his shorts and pulled them on, taking one more peek at her before leaving the cavern.

It was just sex, so he didn't have to stay.

He didn't have to worry about her being mad at him because it was better if she did get mad. She wouldn't do it again, she wouldn't come back to him. She would go to Sam, upset that he left her there alone. She wouldn't tell him what happened, but maybe she would be mad enough to leave the pack. To pretend it never happened. Maybe she would give up.

Just like everyone else.

**a/n. So there you go. (: Next chapter will be up really soon, probably before I update I Run to You or It All Started With a Promise. I like the next few parts I have in mind for this story so I wanted to go ahead and get them up. The other two will be updated either later tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for following! Let me know what you think!!**


	6. Try

_Clouds of sulfur in the air_

_Bombs are falling everywhere _

_It's heartbreak warfare. _

'_I don't care, I don't care, I don't care.'_

Jacob continued to scold himself, the voice in his head constantly repeating how much of an idiot he was for even thinking of giving a shit that she hadn't been to patrol in over four days. _'she's getting married you fucking retard… it was just sex'_. He paced the Cullen's back yard with such an intensity that he'd created a large muddy path from the back porch to the wood line, seemingly unnoticed by him. His mind, the torn mess it had become, was unable to focus on anything but Leah. Her skin, her face, her hair. Everything that made him the insane wreck he had become. He didn't even notice when Seth approached him and quietly watched as he dug the path a little deeper.

"Jake…. Sorry to disturb you but I went to see Leah.. She said she's not feeling good and that she'll be back tomorrow… I just wanted to let you know.." Seth's voice was hoarse, evidence of the shouting match he'd gotten in with his sister, then his mother, then Sam.

"How is she?" Jacob asked before thinking, his crazed mind state beginning to effect his ability to maintain control of his words.

"I don't know man. She seemed… broken…" Seth answered quietly. He and the other pack members knowing what had gone on between the two due to Jacob's uncontrollable train of thoughts.

Of course that led to them knowing exactly how he felt and why he was avoiding her, all disapproving of his tactics.

Jacob sighed heavily, pressing his palms to his eyes. He wouldn't go see her. He couldn't. She would make him feel again, the way he had felt before all of this mess happened. Before Bella and before phasing. It had taken him this long to push it all away, to bury everything and build the walls he used daily to protect himself. _'you cant go see her, it will make things worse'_. He repeated to himself for the thousandth time.

"Look, I understand that you're hurt. And I know that it's not easy, but what about her? She trusts you Jake…" Seth continued when Jacob stayed silent, seeing the empty gaze he had become accustomed to receiving from his alpha.

"I know, I'll take care of it Seth. Just get Quil and Embry and watch the place while I'm gone."

'_you're an idiot, it's not going to change anything. She's going to break you, just like Bella.'_ That small voice continued to penetrate his own thoughts, his choice causing a war to wage between his want to be near her, and his need to be away.

Seth nodded hesitantly before turning on his heels and jogging away to phase and find his pack mates.

Jacob stood for a moment watching Seth retreat into the woods before making his way to the road, a nice long walk before confronting Leah seemed favorable. He looked up and saw the sky changing, it hadn't exactly been sunny before but the sky had turned almost black. The dark clouds rolled quickly in the opposite direction, sprinkling him with a cold mist. A storm obviously on the brink of explosion. He sighed, something he found himself doing often, and pushed on.

Though he wasn't to fond of the rain he really had no other choice, he didn't exactly have a car and he had to get this taken care of. He didn't want to talk to her, but didn't want to hurt her either. Both of his options seemed pretty shitty, but he had to do something. The guilt and constant pull he felt for her would eventually drive him insane.

He walked fairly slow, passing all the small houses and beat up signs that let him know he was entering La Push. Seth and Leah's home was one of the larger houses on the reservation, their mom's successful career and the money they received monthly after Harry's death making it possible to pay the house off.

When it came into sight his stomach dropped, and he halted. Jacob stared at the window he knew he'd find Leah in, unable to take another step forward. He noticed his heartbeat picking up, the loud pounding seemed to drown out the sound of the thunder that had increased along with the rain.

After staring for a few moments he shook himself and walked to the side of the house right below her window, due to the lack of trees on that side of the house he instead had to climb the gutter that snaked up the post on the front porch.

He leaned over and tapped on the glass, he listened carefully, his wolf senses making it easy to hear what was going on inside.

Jacob heard her sheets rustling, it was late, she was probably asleep. After a few minutes he heard footsteps and his breath caught in his throat, he wasn't ready. He couldn't do it, what was he going to say? He hadn't even thought about what to say to her.

"Jacob? What are you doing here?"

* * *

Leah sat on her bed staring blankly at the wall, her day being the exact same as the past three. It was day number four. She hadn't seen him. Hadn't spoken to him. Hadn't even been outside of the house. She found it pretty ridiculous that she was acting that way over something so trivial, the fact that he hadn't been there when she woke up shouldn't have affected her the way it did.

When they started she told herself that it was just to get her mind off of everything that was going on, to have some sort of relief from all the bullshit she dealt with from Sam and her mother. She knew that she wasn't in love with him, he wasn't in love with her. They had just begun to really be friends.

The first night she told herself to forget about it, to just ignore everything she had felt while she was with him and everything she was feeling after that. It was stupid, right? To care for someone who obviously had no intentions of being in another relationship. To care for someone else when she knew that she was supposed to be in love with her fiancé.

The second night she tried desperately to convince herself that she was still completely and unconditionally in love with Sam, that he was her everything and they were going to live happily ever after. She allowed Sam to come over and they had a "romantic" dinner, but she refused to sleep with him after. An insane sense of guilt washed over her just kissing Sam, all she could thing about was her single night with Jacob. The feelings she had for him completely erased everything she'd ever felt for Sam, she just didn't want to admit it.

The third night was the hardest. She wanted to talk to him. To ask him why the hell he left her there alone. Leah knew it was stupid. So she tried to forget about it. She ate dinner with her mother and Sam, watched a few movies, yet still found her thoughts traveling back to Jacob. No matter how hard she tried to forget and ignore.

Seth had stopped by earlier in the day which resulted in the reenactment of a world war. First she had been arguing with him after he questioned her about what happened with Jacob, it wasn't until she learned that Jacob only told by accident that she calmed down. But the damage was already done, Sue had heard them yelling, not what they were yelling about of course but was under the impression that Jacob sent him to make her patrol. That, in turn, caused Sam to get involved and almost get into a fist fight with her little brother. _That_, in turn, resulted in Leah and Sam getting into a huge fight and almost phasing in the house.

Her need to defend Jacob from them had only grown, she thought with their little experience and the fact that he left without word would end up with her being pissed at him. But it only made things worse. _'fuck, I'm so retarded.'_. She pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head, feeling the weight of her actions crashing down on her.

Apparently, if she had wanted to have meaningless sex with someone, Jacob was not the person to do it with.

She stared at the ceiling, trying to settle herself into bed and attempt to sleep. If she had actually been able to do so, the knock on her window probably would have gone unnoticed, but she was wide awake.

Leah didn't move for a few minutes, afraid of who she'd find there. Apart of her already knew though, anyone else would have come through the front door.

She got up and moved to the window, squeezing her eyes shut before opening.

"Jacob? What are you doing here?" She breathed, both relieved to see him and an emotional wreck.

"I need to talk to you." His face was pained, his eyes haunted.

Leah moved out of the way and allowed him to step through her window sill, his landing completely inaudible to human ears.

"What do you want Jacob, I said I'd be back tomorrow."

Leah sat down on her bed and turned away from him, unable to make eye contact.

Jacob stared at her for a few moments before speaking, his want to make her look at him almost overbearing.

"I don't know what you want me to say Leah."

"Nothing. It is what it is right? It just happened and there's nothing more to it. No need to come check up on me, I'm fine." Leah refused his attempts to make any sort of contact, even when he moved in front of her.

He didn't want to touch her, touching her would break his resolve. He needed to keep it in order to avoid showing her any emotion. But she was making it hard. Her refusal to even look at him was becoming quite frustrating.

"Right, you don't show for four days and expect me to just sit around and not get worried?" Jacob put his finger under her chin, lifting it to face him.

"Oh because it means so much, huh? I'm sure you got along just fine, I'll be back tomorrow."

"You know you act like I'm the one that's about to get married, if any one should be confused it's me! I mean you're the one that asked for it, ugh, I'm not saying I didn't want to."

He pinched his nose and looked to the floor before continuing, his head beginning to pound from the ridiculous amount of stress he felt pressing down on him.

"Leah, I wouldn't have done it if I you meant nothing to me. Which is exactly the reason why I can't just pretend it never happened."

Her eyes flicked to him then, finding his locked on her with a strange expression.

"I don't know what you want from me. We both know this can't happen." Jacob motioned between them, his voice breaking a little.

"Why would you even want to? You have Sam, you guys are getting married. I don't understand why you would risk it. I mean I'm not complaining, the other night was--amazing--, for the first time in a long time I was happy. I'm always happy when I'm with you. But you've got everything already, what could I possibly offer?"

The truth of his words slapped him in the face, not really realizing it until he said them. The reaction from Leah however, he never in a thousand years had anticipated.

Leah placed her hands on his cheeks, placing her face only inches from his.

"What you just said is exactly why I would risk it. I make you happy, and that's what you do for me. I'm not happy when I'm here, when I'm with Sam. It's not like it used to be, and nothing like when I'm with you."

Jacob pulled back a little, not to fond of where this was going. He had expected her to maybe get mad at him, to scream and hit him. He thought she'd tell him she regretted it and that's why she was upset, and in that case he could tell her it was alright and they could just move on. But now she was going the other way, she was telling him she cared about him. That he was worth the risk. _Not_ what he wanted to hear.

'_leave, get out now. Before she says it. Before she sucks you in. don't be stupid' _

He tried to convince himself this was wrong, that she was just confused. But the longer he stared at her, the longer her mossy eyes pierced into his empty ones, he was falling. He was trying so hard to make her stop touching him, to tell her she couldn't be in his pack anymore, to make her leave him alone. However, those eyes refused to release him.

"Leah, you cant be serious." Jacob made one last attempt, one last plea.

"I've never been more serious in my life, cant we just play it out for a while, see how it goes?" Her eyes were screaming with hope and excitement, something he still just couldn't understand.

"What about Sam? And your mom? And everyone else?" He felt the pressure in his head increase, making him lean forward a bit, slowly closing the distance between their faces.

With his words she was instantly frustrated, she was so tired of hearing "what about everyone else?". What about her? It was about what she wanted, not them. And she'd see to it that her decisions were based on what _she_ wanted, not them.

"I don't care anymore, Jake. I'm tired of basing my decisions on them. I'll stay with Sam for now, to avoid any suspicion or whatever, but I want to try. If that's what you want." Leah watched his face as it contorted with confusion.

She wasn't sure what to make of his features, he looked so lost. Suddenly he started shaking his head and rose, pushing her hands from his face.

"Sam is here, I cant do this Leah, I'm sorry." Jacob glanced at her one time before he left and instantly ruled it as a mistake, her face was nightmare inducing.

She looked beyond disappointed, and the level of hurt her face was reflecting punched him dead in the chest.

Leah felt like she was choking. It wasn't like her to put herself out there for anyone besides Seth, so doing it and getting rejected was like a giant kick in the gut, and quite damaging to her confidence. She knew he wanted it though, she knew he cared. If he didn't he wouldn't have come. He couldn't hide what she'd already seen, he was good at masking his emotions but that night he was like an open book, and she'd read him thoroughly.

Before he disappeared she managed to force out one last request. "Please, Jake. Just try. You can't push everyone away forever."

With that he was gone, and Sam was at her door. Knocking roughly and calling out to her in his horridly annoying _'serious' _tone.

When she didn't answer he walked in and stopped, his face was unreadable but she knew he could smell Jacob. His scent was everywhere. How she was going to explain, she had no clue.

* * *

**a/n. Sorry for the delay, I've been super sick this past week or so and this weekend it really caught up with me. So I took a few days to chill. On top of that I have to have my wisdom teeth cut out and am soooo not looking forward to it. Anyways, sorry if this chapter was a little dull. I just had to get it in somewhere, explain how both of them were "feeling" or whatever. I'm working on my other stories now so hopefully they will be up later tonight or sometime tomorrow. Thanks to all the readers! Reviews are always welcomed. (: **


	7. I Dont Care

_Once you want it to begin, _

_No one really ever wins_

_In heartbreak warfare...._

Leah had thought over her options while Sam finished up his rant, and she was beginning to think maybe she was being an idiot about the whole thing. Jacob was right to refuse her, she was getting married. Maybe she just needed to sever all ties and do what she thought was best for herself until she could think clearly enough to make up her mind. It was a difficult decision either way. One, she hurts Sam. Two, she hurts herself _and _possibly Jacob. She had no idea how he felt about her or the situation, other than he cared enough to be unable to pretend it didn't happen. But she knew that she had felt something with him that she had honestly never experienced. Maybe it was because he knew her so well and they had barely talked outside of the pack, maybe it was because he treated her as an equal and considered her opinions no matter what. Maybe it was the unexplainable connection she felt with him during only one night together, whatever it was, she wanted more. And it seemed in order to figure out exactly what she wanted in the long run, she was going to have to deal with Sam first.

"I think we need a break." She blurted out before thinking, the words being all to true once she'd realized what she'd said.

Sam jerked his head back in shock, obviously taken aback by her sudden suggestion. Of course to him it was all perfect. She was his perfect little house wife wannabe and he was her knight in shining armor whenever she needed him to be. Only problem was, she didn't need him to be anymore. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, and wanted to be treated that way.

"Excuse me?" Sam choked out, leaning forward as if he hadn't heard her.

"I said I think we need to take a break.. _I_ need a break. From you… from us." Leah was almost unsure if she was dreaming or not. The fact that she had pretty much just put a hold on their relationship was something nobody would have ever saw coming.

"Leah, I know things have been hard between you and I lately. But I think the blame lies with you being in Jacob's pack." His accusation only annoyed her further, unknowingly confirming her decision.

"I know what I want Sam, and right now it's a break from you." She stayed strong and stood her ground, wanting nothing but to run in the direction Jacob had gone and tell him.

"What about the wedding?" Sam's face seemed hurt, but at the same time held some sense of annoyance. It was little things like that that irked her the most. She always felt as if he were hiding something, that he had his own secret to tell.

"I'm not calling it off, I just want some time away from you to get my head on strait." Leah left out any and all details of how she felt, because at that moment she might have actually called it off.

It was like having something so perfect that you've always dreamed about, but it being nothing like it was in your dreams. So realistic and full of nothingness. Sam wasn't who she thought he was, and she obviously wasn't who he still thought her to be.

"Fine.." Sam took a few steps back towards the door, hurt flickering across his face. "if that's what you want then I wont stop you. I'll be here when you're ready."

As the door closed she felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulders, like she'd temporarily been relieved of any and all stress their relationship was causing her. Before she could even get off the bed good her window opened and Jacob stepped through, a very instinctual look about him.

When he saw her his heart began to pound, he had just listened to her tell her fiancé that she wanted a break from him and he wanted to know why.

"Why did you do that?" His voice was harsh and rough, matching his body for the most part.

His muscles were tensed and flexing, his jaw clenched and shoulders taut. She wasn't intimidated, she knew he was confused. She knew she was.

"I told you, I want to see what this is." Leah motioned in between them with her finger, taking a step forward after she spoke.

"Why? You know you'll just go back to him.." Jacob said firmly, trying, and failing, to walk away.

He didn't remember how he got in her room to begin with, last thing he recalled was trying his hardest to get away from her, then being stopped by Sam's yelling.

"Maybe, maybe not. But why not give it a shot? What do you have to lose?"

Her words were very, very true. He'd already lost everything when Bella made her decision. Leah seemed to numb all that for the most part, and if they found they did have something, he might actually be happy one day. Of course there was that voice screaming at him to say no, to run like hell and kick her out of his pack. But as usual, he didn't listen.

"Nothing." Jacob spoke the word and then closed the distance between them, grabbing her roughly and pressing his lips to hers.

He didn't hesitate after that, why should he? He knew what they were doing, what he was getting himself into. And yet he found himself completely unable to care.

Jacob reached his hands around to her ass, grasping and lifting her up so that her legs were wrapped around his waist.

"We cant do this here…" Leah breathed, shoving her face into the crook of his neck as he bit and sucked at her collar bone.

"Why not?" He asked gruffly, pushing her against the wall and pressing his center to hers.

"Because of my mom…" She intentionally left out Sam, though she knew for a fact he was still downstairs.

Jacob knew it too, he just didn't care. She had opened up a door, made a choice, just like him. And with that, he wouldn't pretend to care. Because when it came to Sam Uley, he didn't. Maybe if it was someone like Quil or Embry, even Jared, because they were decent guys. But he couldn't care about someone that he knew cared nothing for anyone else.

He didn't respond, just picked her up and jumped through the still open window. He had no trouble landing, even with her weight added to his, and when he felt the ground he headed strait for the forest. Leah could literally feel herself growling, her whole body shaking and reacting violently to the contact with his.

Once they reached the woods he set her down, pushing her into a tree and pulling impatiently at her shirt. She chuckled quietly underneath him, his body engulfing hers, his arms securely blocking out everything outside of them. He couldn't help but smile, that same sick sense of victory overcoming him. It wasn't something he had been aiming for, or that he'd even thought about before then, but the fact that he had her and Sam was inside thinking she was in love with him was satisfying beyond belief. And made what they were doing that much more intense.

"What are you thinking about?" Leah asked through kisses, Jacob finally just ripping her shirt off.

Jacob stopped and looked at her, his smile faltering a bit.

"I'm thinking that I _should _be thinking about how wrong this is, and that I shouldn't have agreed." He stated calmly, noting the flicker of worry in her eyes when he was finished.

"But," He leaned in and kissed her softly, tracing his fingers up her stomach ending at her breasts, taking one of her nipples in between his fingers and pinching lightly. "I don't care."

He smiled and reassured her, catching her lips again before picking her up and laying her gently on the ground. Jacob pulled Leah's shorts down and set them aside, taking his shirt off after and placing it with them. He stared at her for a few moments, taking in the site and trying desperately to hold tight to that _'don't fall for her' _concept. But as they spent the night continuously in each others arms, sharing their most intimate of sides, he found it impossible not to. It wasn't one sided and he knew it, he could see it radiating from her eyes every time he slid himself inside her or silently found a new way to make her breath hitch.

If he allowed it to continue, it would only be six months. Maybe he could hold out until then, keep his feelings at bay until he was sure. But he doubted it. With every movement he was falling deeper. With every pleasure filled whimper and groan he was falling. Fast, and hard.

* * *

**a/n. I know it's been forever. But I finished my other story and had some time to decide on where this will go. So I'll be updating this one much more frequently. I'm going to keep the chapters short because the story line really isn't that long, so it shouldn't take long in between updates. Thanks for reading! Reviews please!**


	8. Addicted

_If you want more love, why don't you say so?_

_If you want more love, why don't you say so?_

_Just say so…._

**Three weeks later….**

Leah was completely and totally addicted. She was addicted to Jacob. She was addicted to the freedom she had acquired. She was addicted to what Jacob made her feel. She was addicted to everything they had and everything he gave her.

For the first time in a while, she was happy.

As she sat and stared at her current fixation in life, she couldn't help but smile. He seemed so different, almost content with his life. His life with her in it. It was strange thinking of it that way because technically she was still engaged to Sam, but in all honesty, he didn't seem so distraught about it. He had come over a few times over the past few weeks and called every once in a while, but nothing that made her think he wanted her back. Nothing to show her that he really did love her.

Then there was Jacob. He was always with her, always talking to her and asking her opinion, always showing her just how much he loved having her around. That in itself was pushing her more towards him, the simple fact that he at least acted as if she meant something to him. It was amazing how many times they had managed to have sex in a twenty four hour period and she was sure that if they submitted it they'd break some sort of record. In the beginning she thought that's all they would be due to Jacob's reluctance and seemingly unfavorable attitude towards them being _'together',_ but he'd shown her how wrong she was. Even their sexual encounters had changed drastically, they no longer sped through it and acted as if it were a desperate attempt to fix themselves. It was slow and comfortable, both knowing they had nothing but time. Neither thinking of the approaching wedding.

"What do you want to do today?" Jacob asked her softly, pulling her from her thoughts.

"Well, I was thinking…" Leah knew it was a long shot mentioning it to him, but she had to do something about their estranged situation.

"There's a bon fire tonight, and your dad told my mom to get me to invite you and our pack. They want us to come…" She finished and could feel the annoyance leaking off of him, seeing his face was no longer needed to tell what was going on with him.

"Leah…" Jacob groaned, rolling onto his side to face her. "please don't."

His plea was empty, it had reached a point where there was no denying her. Even something on that level of magnitude.

"Come on, Jake" Leah ran her fingers softly through his hair, massaging his head as she attempted to sway him. "They are willing to try. We can do this.."

Even with her encouragement he was still hesitant. Why they would all of the sudden want to make things right with him sounded a bit off. But, again, he couldn't say no to her. She was his everyday. She had saved him, and he couldn't forget that.

With a very reluctant sigh, he smirked at her and gave her all the confirmation she needed. She didn't overreact and jump up and down with joy, she just continued with what she was doing. His low growls and closed eyes silently quietly urging her to keep on. She always giggled when he growled. It was a regular thing when he was a wolf, but he had begun doing it while he was human. After a few days of really paying attention she had distinguished which ones were which. His angry growls, his frustrated growls, happy and excited, comfortable. Everything but sad. She was sure it would be more of a whimper, but she had yet to hear it from him since they'd made the decision to do whatever it was they were doing. That in itself made her feel a shade warmer, the thought of him begin happy being almost as important to her as her own happiness.

She wasn't sure if she was in love with him yet. But whatever feelings they shared hit them both fast and hard, leaving no room for resistance or argument. In a way it still felt messed up to him, but overall he was completely satisfied with the situation. He wasn't worried about the others in their pack, they all knew. Seth was a little reluctant about it at first, but he knew it made Leah happy. That was enough to sway him and the other two just didn't care. It was whatever they wanted, and they weren't in any position to object. They would keep quiet, and they would support whatever they wanted to do.

Leah felt a few small drops on her face as she and Jacob laid in the Cullen's backyard, both being in the same spots they'd been in all day. The sky had been fairly dark all day, making all five of them want to lay around and sleep. They hadn't been into the Cullen's home since she'd announced the break to Sam, and from what she saw in Jacob's head, he didn't want to. All he ever did when he went in after Bella had the baby was talk with Carlisle about what threat the Volturi posed and if they were still planning an attack. He no longer saw the point. They would come to him if anything changed. None of them had seen the baby, none really had the desire.

"So…" Jacob turned to her and began tracing circles on her stomach with his fingers. "What time are we leaving?"

Leah smiled, still running her fingers through his hair. "Whenever you want. But it starts at seven if that's what you wanted to know."

Jacob sighed and pressed his face into her chest, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her as close to him as possible.

"Well, I need a shower. You think I could get ready at your house?" He pulled her a little tighter, his breath burning the skin on her chest. "I don't want to go in there."

His request was simple and sweet, the hope in his voice prominent over anything else. Moments like those reminded her just how far they'd come. When she first joined he would have never asked her for something, even if it was just a shower at her house. She loved days like that one, when he was really open and honest. When he stopped holding back and just let himself go, showing her the boy she knew before all of their worlds were flipped.

"Of course you can." Leah chuckled as he rolled her onto her back and rested himself on top of her, his head dug deep into her neck and hair.

"What about your mom?" He almost scoffed when mentioning Sue, her attitude not being very favorable when it came to him. "And what about tonight? You know Sam will be there."

She could hear the frustration beginning to build in his voice after mentioning Sam and her mom, all of the possible schemes they had going on to get her to go back to Sam began running through her head. It would be hard at the bon fire, pretending she and Jacob were just friends. Just pack mates. But they had to for now, until they both decided on what they wanted to do.

"We'll go through the window, and who cares about Sam. We'll just act normal, like nothing is going on. I think we can manage for one night.."

He lifted his head and propped himself on his forearms that were positioned on either side of her head, his eyes burning holes through hers.

"I don't know if I can," He rested his forehead on hers and allowed his lips to linger before landing a very soft, very slow kiss. "you know he'll be on the defense with all of us there. I don't want to see you with him, it just reminds me that this is only temporary."

His words almost knocked her out, his honesty completely taking her by surprise. It was true though. Sam would act out because Jacob was there and what better way to do it then her? No he didn't know about them, but he knew she and Jacob had become close and Sam wasn't above trying to make someone jealous. Then again, when it came to Sam, she didn't think Jacob was either.

"We don't know that yet." Leah said firmly, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling his face to her. "Sam doesn't have the right to be defensive right now. Don't worry about him, Jake. I promise it wont be like that."

He didn't really believe her, but she wanted to go and she wanted him to go with her. So he was going to. Though he knew it wasn't going to end well. Him in the same tight space with Sam for any long period of time was always ingredient for a disaster. But, he wouldn't argue. She'd see soon enough that it wasn't about her, Sam just wanted to get at him and would use her weather she was allowing it or not. Because he could. Because nobody would say anything to him about it. Because he was Sam Uley, almighty alpha of La Push. Golden Boy. It was sick, and they'd all see it eventually. Hell, maybe sooner than he'd thought.

"Alright, let's get going." Jacob took her hand and pulled her up with him, unable to restrain himself from planting kisses up and down her neck as she adjusted her shirt.

"We'll have to find you something to wear," Leah almost laughed thinking of his two pair of cut offs and maybe one decent shirt. "I'm sure Seth has something still there."

Jacob smiled warmly as she led the way, her hand firmly holding onto his as they walked. It wasn't going to be easy, keeping his temper in check while being around Sam and the other pack. But he'd do it for her. Or try his best at least, he couldn't make any promises. He just hoped she knew what the possible outcomes were, he hoped she knew what she was starting. Anger was one thing, and they were all pretty used to dealing with it. But one thing he knew nobody dealt with very well was jealousy, and as much as he hated to admit it, he was a frequent victim of the rage inducing emotion. Him and Sam both.

* * *

**a/n. Bon fire next chapter. This one was just to show where they stand now that they've decided to try it out and how they both felt about it. Reviews please!!!!! (:**


	9. Low Blow

_How come the only way to know how high you get me, _

_Is to see how far I fall?_

"How much longer are you going to take?" Jacob asked, annoyed.

He took a glance at his appearance in the mirror hung on Leah's bedroom wall, quite satisfied with what he saw. He didn't really care. It was just the council and his old pack, and of course their imprints and whatnot. They didn't mean enough to him anymore for him to actually try to look decent for them. It was technically _because_ of them that he was living he way he was. Like an animal. With a bunch of leeches giving him the only food and clothing he did have.

"Give me a minute, alright?! Gah, what's the hurry?" Leah almost laughed at his impatience. She had only been in the bathroom for ten minutes. Shower included.

Jacob rolled his eyes and laid back on the bed, her ceiling reminding him of his lack thereof. He missed his room. His house. He missed his dad. But it didn't matter anymore, he was doing what was best. That's what was important. At least he had Leah, for now anyway.

Leah took one last peek in the mirror. Her makeup was just right for her, a natural look that only accentuated her own beauty. Her hair was in long waves down the middle of her back, the strands around her face and neck untamable. She had given up long ago on taming anything about her, she had surprised even herself when deciding to pursue whatever she and Jacob shared. But so far, it seemed like the best thing she'd ever done. She tugged anxiously at her dress, the brown material clinging to her curves like they were under attack. The dress was strapless, accentuating not only her curves that had thickened with she and Jacob's little endeavors, but her cleavage that was rarely put to any good use up until recently. And of course the length was something to stare at. It was a mid-thigh length wonder, one she was overly satisfied with. She usually wouldn't care what she looked like, and she surely wasn't attempting to look decent for Sam or anyone else. But the thought of that person in the other room made her think a little differently

After taking a deep breath, she turned for the door. Once opened, she crept quietly into the room she knew he was waiting in. She could hear his breath speed up, his heart beginning to pound with the closing of the bathroom door. It was hilarious that only a few weeks ago he could have cared less about her presence, now the mere thought of her being in the same room caused his body to run wild.

"Bout' time." He sat up and was halted abruptly once catching sight of her. "Wow."

Leah rolled her eyes and shook her head. He could have made anyone blush with the way he was looking at her, and she did.

"What?" She almost laughed, stopping as he rose and stalked over to her.

He had that gleam in his eye, the one she recognized _very_ well. The closer he got, the clearer her own reflection in his eyes became to her. She had to admit, she did look pretty sexy. That look on his face said it all, the hunger his features held. The lust that lingered mercilessly in his eyes. At one time, before all of this, she may have been afraid of the almost primal look he carried when turned on. But she'd seen it before, and what came after was far from scary.

"I thought it was just a bon fire." Jacob stated, amused. "All this," He looked her up and down, tracing a finger from her stomach to her chest. "for a bon fire?"

"I had the dress, might as well use it. Not like I go anywhere else.." Leah informed him, her words being overly honest.

She didn't care, it's not like she had any desire to go out on a regular basis. She was completely satisfied with what they did everyday, and what they didn't.

Jacob watched her for a moment. He hadn't really thought about any of that due to his secluded lifestyle, but after mentioning it, he agreed. After mentioning it, he didn't find it very fair. He thought back to what she'd said about Sam, about how he was boring and never wanted to go anywhere. That messed up sense of competitiveness flared in him again, the want, or rather _need_, to outdo her still current fiancé that overruled any sense of rationality he had left in him. He hated Sam. He hated Sam for many reasons, but Leah wasn't going to be one of them. Not if he was able to make it so.

"Let's go out Friday night.." He grinned childishly at her, cupping her face in his hands. "how about a movie? Dinner maybe?"

"I don't have any money." Leah couldn't help but smile, his eagerness to always make her happy sparking some dormant sense of contentment in her.

She'd been having fun with him, yes. But the more they were together, the more they allowed it to go on, the deeper they noticeably became. The happier she became.

"I have money." He kissed her lightly. "Don't worry about anything. Just say yes."

"Yes."

He laughed against her mouth, tracing his fingers and hands through her hair and pulling her head closer to him.

"We have to get going." Leah attempted to curb him from his current mission, seeing clearly where he was headed.

"It's just a bon fire." He answered gruffly, moving his hands to her thighs.

Jacob pushed her into the wall, never moving his hands. He pulled them up and wrapped them around his waist, sliding his tongue slowly into her mouth simultaneously. It didn't take much to sway her in his direction, the longer he grinded his growing erection against her already dampening center the further she caved. The dress made things easy. Maybe it was what she subconsciously wanted, of course having no clue he'd respond so quickly. Jacob silenced her thoughts, his low but insanely loud growls reverberating through her body as he slid his hand in between them and pushed her underwear aside. He cursed the jeans she'd made him wear, they may have looked good on him, but they were very much in his way.

With a loud grunt he pulled her from the wall and moved her to the floor, annoyed with the length of time the process was taking. "You know," Leah interrupted. "I do have a bed."

Jacob looked up at the inviting mattress, thinking over the fact that they'd never actually had sex in a bed. He huffed and rolled his eyes, much to the amusement of the girl underneath him.

Once they reached the bed things moved much more quickly. Jacob pushed her skirt up, leaving the gathered material jumbled underneath her breasts. After scanning over her stomach for a moment, wishing he could just rip the stupid dress off, he made quick work of his pants and removed her now useless underwear.

"Good thing we don't have to phase.." Leah noted, thinking of the last time they'd accidentally shared one of their evenings with Seth and Embry. "I don't think Seth could take another slideshow."

Jacob ignored the thought of Seth and Embry flinching and cringing as their thoughts ran carelessly around the link they shared, he wasn't in the mood to laugh. Instead, he trailed kisses down her stomach making a beeline directly to her clit. Leah took in a deep breath, his quick decent catching her a little off guard. She gasped and groaned, clasping the sheets tightly, yanking and pulling at his hair as he worked his tongue around that perfect spot. As her moans became screams, his patients began wearing thin. He pushed two fingers into her, moving them roughly in and out. She arched her back, her toes curling and uncurling rapidly. Her stomach began to curl, the quickened pace of his fingers fueling her quickly building fire. A moment before she thought she was going to explode and die, he removed his fingers and slid up her body inserting his throbbing cock easily past her slick lips.

He lost all sense of reality after only a few moments. She always had a way of making him into some sort of sex crazed monster, and sometimes he resented her for it. Like right then. As he was furiously thrusting himself in and out of her, and her hips so graciously grinded upwards to meet his every blow, he found his mind wandering. He didn't mean to, and it wasn't taking away from the experience, but it still sucked. He knew how hard it was going to be, especially after this, to keep himself in check. In approximately fifteen to twenty minutes after they finished, he'd be face to face with her soon-to-be-husband. Though, he knew she was slowly changing her mind, it was still going to be hell watching him try his hardest to win her over. He'd have to sit there like a love-sick puppy doing nothing about it. It was sickening.

He felt her walls contracting around him, the once synchronized motions now chaotic and desperate. He felt desperate. Desperate to make them both cum in a rage of ecstasy, desperate to make her forget him, desperate to make himself forget that she could still leave him. All his thoughts collided with the intense sensations they were creating and he almost lost his mind. He picked her up and shoved her into the wall, the drywall cracking slightly under the sudden pressure. He searched her face for any sort of signal to stop, but she was just as worked up as he was. Jacob couldn't be sure what she was thinking, but he knew that their situation was just as confusing for her. Which gave him even more incentive to force it all away. To make them both forget everything but what they were doing, everyone but each other.

Jacob shoved all the contents of her desk away and laid her down, lifting her legs around his neck, keeping his pace all the while. He lifted her hips to match his waist as she hooked her ankles around the back of his head. The changed position and elevation of her hips sent her spiraling out of sensibility. She shouldn't have been so loud, he shouldn't have been making such a mess, the sound of their bodies clapping together should have been silenced before someone came in the house and heard. But neither could make themselves care. Not anymore. He dug his fingers into the top of her thighs as he held on, sending painful waves through her legs. But she didn't care. Nor did she care that her hold on the sides of the desk was beginning to crack the wood, small shards falling to the ground. All she could think about was him, inside of her, right then, at that moment. Her deepest and most secretive spots being beat half to death in bone breaking motions. Well, for humans anyway.

She felt him loosen his grip and begin to slow after she released what may have sounded like a whimper, possibly resulting from the definite bruising he was causing. But it wasn't.

"No, no, no! Don't stop, you're not hurting me." She grabbed his hands and forced them back in place, shoving her hips at him urging him on.

He gave her a slightly unsure nod before going right back to what he was doing. It only took a few more minutes of the almost painful thrusts, and she was seeing stars. Her back arched to the ceiling, her hands finally breaking through the damaged wood leaving splinters scattered around her hand. Her final pleasure filled screams sent him tumbling over, cumming in a colorful and dizzy haze. He pushed into her a few more times, allowing her to ride out her obviously beautiful orgasm, finally releasing his hold on her legs and resting his hands at her hips on the desk.

Their loud pants filled the room, the temperature most likely raised a few degrees after that.

"Jesus Christ." Leah managed to breathe out. "Where did that come from?"

He could feel her smiling even through the darkness. "I dunno." He shrugged, taking her hands and helping her up.

When she was standing she wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tip toes to reach his face. "Well, whatever it was," She kissed him roughly. "thank you."

Jacob chuckled lightly, tugging at her dress to put it back in place. He immediately noticed it's more than wrinkled appearance and tried to stifle the laugh that was building.

"I think we messed your dress up." He pointed to the skirt that was crinkled and matted in several different places.

Leah sighed and moved across the room to turn on the light. "Shit." She couldn't help but laugh once he'd begun. His was so loud and cheery, spreading it's lightheartedness to whomever was close to him.

"Oh well," Jacob went to her dresser and pulled out a t-shirt. "they don't need to see you in it anyway."

He shouldn't have felt that way. That painful urge to keep her to himself and force everyone else away. But it was unmanageable. His hunger quickly rebuilt with the removal of the dress, her naked figure sauntering around the room teasing his unhinged emotions. They were eased a bit once she covered herself with the t-shirt and a pair of shorts, but they were there just the same.

"I guess we should go," She glanced around the room. "but I'll have to clean all this up before anyone else comes up here."

Leah looked over to the wall he'd almost pushed them through. "And get that fixed."

She laughed loudly at the conditions her room was now in. A perfect reminder of what just happened. Although, her body was enough of a reminder without her room. She was still tingling, every inch of her loosened and at ease. It was a good feeling. One she couldn't recall having before, ever.

"We'll both do it." Jacob smiled warmly and took her hand, leading her down the stairs to the front door.

* * *

"I'm so glad you could make it!" Rachel beamed, hugging her brother and Jacob. "Oh Leah, we've all missed you so much!"

Rachel was apparently the welcome wagon. Everyone else just stood there around the fire and stared. Leah wasn't sure what to make of their expressions. Sue was obviously vexed, but Billy and Old Quil seemed to be relieved that they'd come. Jacob glanced over at Leah, secretly placing where her eyes were fixed. He was beginning to annoy himself, his ridiculous need to be sure she wasn't leaning back towards Sam was becoming hard to control.

As if on cue, "Leah, boys, glad you cold all make it." Sam stalked over and stood in front of the five, giving them all once overs.

"You all look good. Been eating well, I hope." Sam extended a hand to Embry, then Quil, then Seth…

'_what kind of question is that??' _Jacob growled to himself, already annoyed with his one-time-friend.

"Jacob." Sam greeted, his hand dangling in the air.

As much as Jacob wanted to snatch his arm off and shove it down his throat, he folded, and shook his hand.

"Sam, good to see you." Jacob feigned friendliness. To the best of his ability anyway.

It wasn't the greeting that was eating on his resolve, it was who Sam was greeting next. Her response and everything that came with it playing out in his mind in a million different scenarios.

"Leah," Sam moved to her and pulled her into a hug. "I've missed you."

**NOT** what he wanted to see.

"Hey Sam." Her hands were pressed to his chest, subconsciously trying her best to keep him away. Unknowingly not wanting to upset the man standing right beside her. Well, maybe she knew exactly what she was doing. Maybe.

"Can we talk somewhere?" Sam began what Jacob knew was going to turn out horribly.

Sam glanced around, taking in Jacob's fiery glare. "Somewhere a little more…. Private?"

She sighed heavily, the night already not turning out very well. "Not now, Sam. We came here to visit with everyone."

Her answer socked Sam in the gut, and lifted a gigantic weight off of Jacob's. Jacob couldn't help the grin that formed, the snide and taunting grin that Sam caught right away.

It wasn't addressed, though. Leah immediately moving past Sam and leading the other four to the rest of the awaiting group. She greeted everyone and watched as her pack mates did the same, Jacob avoiding the only one that really mattered. Finally, after a few moments of chatting it up with anyone and everyone but his dad, Jacob moved over to him and extended his hand.

"Hey, Dad." Jacob greeted almost formally, his face reflecting nothing. "Good to see you."

Leah could see the hurt on Billy's face, his eyes a glossy shade of dark brown.

"Hey, Jake." Billy took his hand, more holding it then shaking it. "I'm really glad you came."

Billy's smile melted away any tension left, and Jacob sat down on the log next to him. The remainder of the night went more than smoothly. They all laughed and joked, ate and cut up. Overall it was a great success. Jacob and Billy seemed to be getting along great, and even Sue had joined in their conversations every once in a while. Not talking directly to Jacob of course, but in a more subtle fashion then Leah had expected. Just when Leah thought they were going to get through the night without so much as a cross word, Sam spoke up.

He'd been sitting aside, brooding. He was angry that everyone was getting along, he was angry that Billy had accepted Jacob, he was angry that Leah had refused him. Really, he was just angry.

"So, Jacob." Sam leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "How are the bloodsuckers doing?"

It was a subject nobody had planned on discussing. Because they all knew what would happen, and they were all a little surprised that Sam and initiated it.

"I don't know." Jacob answered through gritted teeth, knowing all to well what Sam was doing. "I haven't talked to them in a while."

Nobody dared to interfere. It was a dangerous ordeal, a dangerous confrontation. But the harder Sam pushed, the angrier they all became.

"Really? I thought you lived with them? You protect them, correct?" Sam prodded, smirking boldly.

"No, I don't live with them." Jacob attempted calm, but was quickly losing control. "I live in the fucking woods." He spat, his anger becoming prominent.

"But you protect them?" Sam repeated. "Like a guard dog?"

"Sam! Cut it out." Leah interrupted, noting her alpha's rising infuriation.

"Shut up," Sam turned to her then, refusing to tolerate her defending Jacob. "this doesn't concern you."

Jacob stood then, shoving the tray with the remaining food out of his way as he crossed the small camp.

"I protect everyone, not just them." Jacob began, his frame shaking violently. "Unlike you, I thought about the alternative of what could happen by killing the child without thought. We've managed to keep the Volturi away and that's a win for everyone. You remember the Volturi? That big bad vamp clan that outnumbered us ten to one? The one you would have rather provoked than reasoned with just because you're to stuck on being some great alpha that bows to no one?"

Sam stood up, putting himself a little below eyelevel with the fuming alpha he knew could overthrow him if he wanted to.

"Here's a bombshell for ya, Sam. You're pathetic." Jacob pushed his chest roughly against Sam's, shoving him back a step. "You would rather make yourself look good then think of the safety of everyone. No, I wouldn't have killed the child. No, I wouldn't have killed Bella. But we're all alive and safe from war, because of _me_. Not you. You did nothing. You sat back and allowed me to suffer through what you claim as your job."

Jacob let out a low laugh, watching as Sam's face contorted into something resembling embarrassment. He knew Jacob was right, and that should have been satisfying enough. But it wasn't. Because it wasn't just about that anymore, it was Leah. His anger from earlier that he'd done well to suppress came surging back in all it's heated glory, refusing to allow Jacob to calm himself even a hint.

"Whatever, Jacob." Sam backed away a few steps, attempting to create distance. "I'm still alpha of La Push. I have the last say in everything that has to do with our people. I didn't feel it was right to side with the Cullen's. They're our enemy."

"Enemies that have fed and clothed all of us because we were forced away from our home. All because you're to high handed and domineering to admit when you're wrong." Jacob shot back, closing the distance Sam was trying desperately to create.

"Boys, please!" Sue shouted, standing and assuming the worst was about to unfold.

"Come on, Jake." Embry stood along with Seth and Quil, making their way over to him cautiously. "Let's just go."

Leah watched with almost a sort of knowing. Jacob told her it wasn't going to be easy, and he'd told her that Sam wasn't going to like it. She should have listened.

"You don't have to leave." Billy wheeled himself over to the gathering group. "Sam, you need to take some time to cool down." Billy eyed Sam resentfully, upset with how things were turning out.

"No," Jacob began, backing away from his former alpha. "forget it. We're out of here."

Leah watched as Jacob, Seth, Quil and Embry snatched up their things and began leaving.

"Jacob," Sam called out, a strange and menacing look about him. "I forgot to give you this."

Jacob turned around slowly, stalking back over to where Sam was holding out a piece of paper. Leah wasn't sure what it was, but she knew it wasn't good. She'd have never thought a single piece of paper could have caused what it did, but after seeing it, she understood.

Jacob snatched the paper and read the large and formal wording carefully.

"_Sam Uley and Leah Clearwater_

_Please accept this invitation to join us in this special day of holy matrimony---_"

There was more, but he didn't read it. Jacob thought he'd done well holding his temper, holding his anger that was built beyond phasing. As the paper dropped to the ground, everyone scattered. As angry as Jacob was, Sam phased first, sensing the danger radiating off of the other alpha.

Leah watched on in horror, everyone mimicking her exact expression. As the two gigantic masses shoved and yanked one another across the beach, she moved to pick up the paper still lying on the ground. She took one look and got it. Sam was a dick, and he'd thrown a very low blow. Though the fact that he'd known to throw it bothered her beyond belief. She'd deal with that later, right then, they had to focus on keeping someone from getting killed.

* * *

**a/n. A lot longer than I had planned. But the first part took up a lot of space. (: Hope you liked, please review.**


	10. Pinpointed

_God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me,_

_But I cant break through it all. _

It had taken about fifteen minutes for both packs to break up the fight. Even after they were apart they were clearly fuming. Sam was cursing loudly, screaming incoherent insults at Jacob. And Jacob, well, he just had one of those looks. The problem honestly wasn't the fight, not anymore. Leah hadn't been the only one to see what sparked Jacob's assault. One glace at the paper and not only Sue, but Billy and Old Quil, all got the picture loud and clear. Sue had begun hyperventilating after realizing what was going on. Leah realized that things were about to get a thousand times more complicated. If Sam didn't know, he was going to before the night was over. If she hadn't been confused before, she most defiantly was then.

"Jacob, are you alright?" Leah approached him slowly, scanning him carefully for anything serious.

He shot his fiery gaze directly at her, his shoulders tensing and muscles flexing. They were still down near the water, away from the screaming and yelling going on up at the camp.

His face said it all. He was pissed. Pissed that he'd lost control and made a scene, pissed because Sam had known exactly how to prove whatever point he was trying to make, pissed because a simple piece of paper had effected him more then Bella becoming a vampire ever had. It wasn't a comfortable feeling, knowing just how much you've allowed yourself to fall in love with someone. He could deny it all he wanted, but deep down he knew. He knew that she had become the only thing that was important, the only thing he wanted, the only thing he still felt like he couldn't have.

"No," He choked out a laugh. "no I'm not."

Leah wasn't sure what was feeding his raging emotions at the moment. His anger towards Sam, or his confusion with their little situation. Either way, his eyes were tearing holes into her. The longer he stood there, staring out at the ocean, the more his features fell. Whatever he was thinking about wasn't good, and she wasn't going to allow him to screw up whatever it was they had out of fear.

"Come on," Leah took his hand and led him towards the woods. "let's go home."

Jacob stared at her in disbelief. Home? Where the hell was that? The Cullen's backyard? The woods surrounding their house? That wasn't a home. Not like the one she deserved.

He pulled away from her. "Where is home?"

Leah wasn't phased by his hesitation. She knew what he was going through, all the doubts he was having. She'd had them too. But after that night, her feelings had been pinpointed. She hadn't been sure if she was in love with him. She thought maybe it was just lust, a release of pent up emotions on someone she trusted. Someone that understood. But seeing his doubt made her see clearly. She loved him. She still couldn't be sure what she was going to do about it, how she was going to act on it, but that was something she could work out with him later on. Right then, he needed to get out of there. They both did.

"Wherever we feel like making it."

Her smile melted away any sort of resolve he had left. He couldn't say no. Even after fighting with her fiancé, after possibly exposing what they were doing to the pack and council, after an explosive evening of lost tempers and lack of self control, she wanted to go back with him. He stared at her for a moment, unsure of how to respond. It was a loaded statement, one he wasn't sure she meant. She became fairly irritated during his moment of silence and decided to ignore him altogether.

"We have a date Friday," She took his hand and yanked him forward. "remember?"

Jacob smiled at the thought. Images from their time together in her bedroom lightening his mood a bit. He sighed and peeked over at the camp.

"Should we go up there?"

Leah followed his eyes to where Seth was arguing with Sue and Embry was arguing with Sam. It didn't look like it was going to end well, so despite everything that had went on, Leah decided they should take care of it.

"Yeah." She still held his hand, afraid of what would be said when they reached the angry crowd. " You think you can handle it?"

Jacob laughed at her concern. He was more than capable of holding his temper, with anything but her. She was his bad situation, his drug, his addiction.

"Guess we'll just have to find out."

xxxxxx

"You shouldn't have come if you were just going to start fights!"

Sue had immediately attacked Jacob the second they approached the scene. She of course was trying to make it his fault, using his current living conditions against him.

"I didn't intend on fighting with anyone. He provoked me." Jacob stayed calm.

He hadn't raised his voice even during her worst verbal assaults. He just stood, with his arms folded, a blank expression on his face.

"I agree." Billy intervened, rolling beside his son and facing Sue.

Old Quil did the same after a moment.

"You two cant be serious!" Sue blasted at the older men. "He's been influencing my dau--"

Leah hadn't been sure just how short his fuse was when it came to her, but he was beginning to make it very clear. She thought that sort of thing would piss her off, that protective, over aggressive, jealous sort of attitude. But it didn't. Maybe it was because of Sam's lack of emotion towards her that made her crave all of Jacob's back and forth mood swings, but every time she saw it flicker across his face she couldn't help the swell that built in her stomach. The want to tackle him then and there.

"**Don't**-- bring her into this." Jacob warned. "It had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with Sam and myself. We both lost control out there and I'm pretty sure we're both able to own up to our parts that were played."

Jacob looked over to Sam who was sitting at Billy's kitchen table with the same brooding expression he'd had all night. He glared for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed."

Sam's face didn't change, he just looked away and continued sulking. Leah was a little tempted to take him outside and see what the hell his problem was, but tensions were too high. She didn't trust Jacob to stay out of it. They didn't need another brawl.

"Well," Billy finally broke the silence. "let's just all calm down and take tonight to gather ourselves. We'll talk about all this in the morning."

Jacob nodded and turned to leave, Leah following him obediently with the other three members of their pack on her tail.

"Ahem!" Sue challenged. "Leah where are you going?"

Leah didn't even turn around, she just held on to the back of Jacob's shirt as they exited the house and called over her shoulder, "Home."

XXXXXXX

**a/n. A little uneventful, I know. But! Everyone knows about them now, that confrontation will come next chapter. Leah's wanting to dive in headfirst, Jacob's beginning to hesitate. Billy and Old Quil want them to reunite, Sue and Sam want them gone for good. Getting closer to the end so the next few chapters should have a bit more going on. I promise the next chapter will come quicker and will be more eventful. (: Reviews please!! Oh yeah, their date is next chapter. Should be pretty adorable. Hehe. Sorry about the X's, the breaks weren't working for some reason. **


	11. I Want All of You

**a/n. Okay, to avoid confusion. This takes place about two and a half months after the last chapter. They've had to postpone because of Sam and the other pack causing problems along with Sue. I didn't really go that far into it because, well, none of it made for a good chapter and I figured dragging it out would be worse. Okay, hope you enjoy! (:**

**XXXXXXX**

_It's a heartbreak….._

Leah didn't like Jacob's idea at first. He wanted her to get ready at her house, him at his, and then him pick her up like he would if they were actually dating. She was fine with getting ready at her house, with him there, and then waiting while he did. But he was insistent on making it as realistic as possible. The only problem with the idea was that she'd have to deal with her mother, and possibly Sam. In that case, Jacob would have to deal with Sue, and possibly Sam. As if things weren't already screwed up. They'd already had to postpone the "date" for who knows how long because of constant bullshit with Sam and the other pack.

"You have to face her eventually, Leah." Jacob cupped her face and kissed her softly. "Might as well do it now."

Leah let herself get lost in those huge chocolate orbs, the safety she felt in them impenetrable. She loved how she felt when she was with him. It was so raw, so absolutely unpredictable that it made every move a surprise. Jacob was always changing, always different. Yet, always dependable no matter what. His moods were rough and over the top, but he always managed to show her that he loved her. He was her constant. She was his ground.

"But she knows…" Leah pressed her forehead into his chest, allowing his arms to completely envelope her. "they all do. What if Sam comes?"

She knew mentioning Sam was a complete test of Jacob's patience, patience she knew he didn't have when it came to their former alpha. But it was an immediate worry, and she'd come to a point where anything that popped in her head was voiced to him eventually. Besides her feelings for him. They may have both had overly intense feelings for one another, but neither were very good with voicing it.

"I know." Jacob breathed. His chest giving away the hitch when she said Sam's name. "But we cant ignore it. We knew it was a possibility, now we just deal with it. And I'll be here in exactly two hours. If he does come, he wont be here long before I am."

Leah pulled her head back and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her forehead to his. "What if they ask questions…like about us…."

"Tell them whatever you want to tell them." Jacob sighed heavily. He didn't know what to say.

He didn't even know what they were. How was he supposed to tell her how to react to the inevitable questions. _'do you love him? Are you together? Are you getting married? Do you have future plans? Where will you live? Etc…'_

"What about you?" She nuzzled her head in his neck. "What will you tell them?"

He closed his eyes and squeezed. "The truth."

They heard her mother enter the house, bustling around the kitchen. Probably putting groceries away or preparing dinner for herself, minus her two children.

"I'm gonna go get ready." Jacob kissed her softly. "I'll pick you up at eight." He whispered above her ear, kissing her head one more time before turning for the window.

Leah didn't want him to leave, she was nervous beyond belief. Partially due to her still fuming mother, and partially due to the fact that she and Jacob were going on their first "date". It was strange feeling that way. They'd been sleeping together for months, but with the mention of an official "date" her nerves went haywire.

She'd get ready first, then deal with her mom. That argument probably wouldn't be something she'd be able to get out of quick enough to fit in a shower.

**XXXXXXXX**

Make up, check. Hair, check. Dress, check. Heels, check. Nerves, off the damn wall.

Leah continued to "once-over" herself for the seventh time, finding any reason to stay upstairs. She was sure her mother had heard the shower running, and if not, her dropping the hair dryer was a fairly loud giveaway. She glanced at the clock, seven fifteen. If she wanted to be ready when Jacob arrived, she needed to get it over with. Firm, cool, collected. She could do it.

That's what she kept telling herself anyway. Even as she crept down the stairs, as quietly as she could with heels on, she was chanting _'I can do it, I can do it, I can do it'_ over and over in her head.

When she reached the bottom she hurried herself to the kitchen, stopping awkwardly in the doorway and clearing her throat. "Hey momma."

Sue turned quickly and looked over Leah, noting her less than casual appearance. "Going out?"

Leah caught the sneer, even if Sue was trying to be subtle about it. She counted to ten while taking a deep breath, reminding herself that she was trying to make amends, not add fuel to the fire. Though, she knowingly could have. She wasn't exactly pleased with her mother's behavior, but she was still her mom, and she didn't want to lose her completely.

"Yeah," Leah half chuckled. "I am. What are you making?"

Leah peeked over to the stove, but Sue covered the pot before she could get a look. She was being childish, and completely unapproachable.

"With who?" Sue turned to Leah and scowled.

"Who do you think, mom?"

That was all it took. Sue sighed and put her face in her hands.

"You're going to ruin everything, Leah! Sam is being so understanding during whatever it is that you're going through, but when is it going to be enough!? When are you going to finally see that you belong with Sam?"

Leah pondered over what Jacob said. He said he was going to tell whoever asked the truth. As hard as it was going to be, she figured it was only fair that she do the same.

"I don't think I am, mom." Leah folded her arms, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. "Honestly, I don't really think I love Sam anymore…."

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Not like I used to. Sure he's good for me financially, comfortably. But.. We just don't have what Jacob and I have. I'm in love with him… like really truly in love with him. He does things for me that nobody has ever done, he gives me everything I'm lacking. It's….." Leah grinned childishly, "it's almost perfect."

As Leah continued to revel in the honesty of her words, repeating them to herself in her head after she said them, Sue had taken that time to get completely and totally fired up. She was pissed. Pissed because Leah wasn't going through with their plan, pissed because it was Jacob, pissed because she wasn't caving, and even more pissed that Leah didn't seem to care what she or anyone else thought. She hadn't raised her that way.

"You listen to me, young lady!" Sue closed the distance between them, pointing her finger in Leah's face. "If you do this, I don't want to hear it when you're living in the fucking woods ten years from now with nothing to be thankful for but the clothes on your back and the so called "love" that you think the two of you share, I---"

"That would be enough for me." Leah interrupted, unphased by her mother's assault.

Sue jerked her head back, as if Leah had strait up socked her in the face. "You deserve so much more…"

It was almost a whisper, her tone changing completely after realizing she wasn't going to get a reaction from her daughter.

"I deserve to be happy, and so does Jacob." Leah stood up strait. "We make each other happy. If that's enough for us, it should be enough for you."

Sue was literally rendered speechless. She had no idea how to respond to that, because in all aspects, Leah was right. But Sue refused to accept it, and she refused to accept Jacob. But no sooner than she'd made that rash and immature decision, there was a knock at the front door. No doubt being Jacob.

"Well, that's him." Leah couldn't help the grin that formed. "I'm not coming home tonight, I just needed a shower."

Sue watched on, shell-shocked, as Leah hurried to the door, answering it with the bubbliest and largest smile Sue had ever seen on her. She didn't go to the door, she didn't attempt to interrupt, she just stood and listened. The glowing hello's, the soft kisses, the giggling and whispering, the opening and closing of the car doors, the rev of the engine, then the sound of it disappearing. It seemed that she had made up her mind. But that didn't mean that Sue wasn't going to do everything in her power to sway her back to her side of things.

**XXXXXXXX**

"I'll have a Dr. Pepper." Leah answered the waitress.

"Are you ready to order, or should I give you a minute?" The young girl stood awkwardly at the edge of their table, trying her best to fake a smile.

"Give us a minute."

They hadn't chosen anything fancy, neither being interested in having sirloin or seafood. After riding around for a few minutes they finally just settled on a small café a few doors down from the movie theater in Port Angeles. Their movie was starting in a little over an hour, it was fairly convenient.

After about ten minutes the two decided on their orders and waved the waitress down, giving them to her quickly and began picking at the salads they were served.

"So, how did it go with Billy?" Leah asked.

"Good. It took me all of ten minutes to get ready so we had a chance to talk."

"And…" Leah turned all her attention to him, then. She couldn't help but wonder if Billy was on Sue's little bandwagon, or if it was just a two party ride.

"He asked about us, I told him the truth." Jacob shrugged, taking a large portion of his drink with one short swig. "He didn't have to much to say. Just said that it's gonna cause problems with Sam, but he's happy if we're happy."

Leah's mouth hung wide open. The disappointment that washed over her was quite a surprise, a tinge of jealousy flowing with it. Jacob had gotten the rotten end of everything the past few months, now her mother was the one trying to ruin the one good thing that was happening for the both of them. Why her mother couldn't be happy for them like Billy obviously was, was beyond her.

"That's…. surprising." Leah averted her eyes back to her bowl, pushing the lettuce from one side to the other. "I figured he'd be with my mom on this one."

Jacob didn't respond. He really wasn't sure how to. Sue was being very difficult, and he was sure it was hard for Leah.

When he stayed silent, Leah decided to keep it going. "What else did he say?"

"He asked if we were together, and if we planned on making something of it."

Leah closed her eyes, her nerves flying off the hinges again with the mention of their "relationship". They hadn't discussed it because both were afraid of the other's response. Jacob had just barely gotten over Bella, and Leah was technically still engaged. Confirming anything was dangerous for all parties involved.

"I told him I wasn't sure." Jacob sighed and put his fork down. "Because I'm not. I don't know what you want, because you never tell me. We have sex, a lot, and we talk about everything on the face of this planet…. Accept for that."

He was staring at her, knowing the initiating the conversation wasn't a good idea on their first "date", but Billy had him thinking. He'd pointed out a lot of key points, and Jacob didn't like the outcome of any. He wanted to be with her, hands down, no questions. And he wanted to know if that's what she wanted, because if so, there was no reason for her to still be engaged to Sam. It was a bit insulting after all this time.

"I know it's hard, and I know that you loved him…. Well maybe still _love_ him." Jacob leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "But Leah, it's been months. We've been doing this for a really long time, the wedding is like in two weeks, if you're going to go back to him…" He paused and took a deep breath. "you need to just do it. Because I want more. I want all of you, not just fill in what he obviously cant give."

Leah knew it was a serious conversation, but she couldn't help but smile. Something that obviously confused him. She had been waiting for him to say something, as childish as it was. She didn't want to initiate it, she didn't want to be the one to ruin things if he didn't feel the same way. It was a conversation she never thought they'd have, because like her, he was usually unwilling to discuss such matters.

"Embry said that Billy is having a cook out at his house next Saturday, we'll tell them then. I'll tell Sam that it's off, and that we're finished."

Jacob's heart ceased pounding, and he let out a ragged breath he'd been holding since he started their little make-or-break-talk. "You're sure?"

"I'm absolutely positive." Leah leaned forward and mimicked his rested position. "I love you, and I want to be with you."

Neither had dared to say those three small words before. The significance they held outweighed any desire to express their feelings. Saying it defined so many things, and before that moment neither wanted to be defined. It was safe just being fuck buddies, pretending not to care, saying that it was just temporary. She didn't have to break it off with Sam, who even with his horrifying attitude, had a pull over her. He didn't have to admit that Bella was no longer in his life, that he had to move on, because she had. But it wasn't about them anymore.

"You love me, huh?" Jacob gave her the most devious smirk he could muster up.

"For some strange reason," She leaned back and folded her arms. "yes, I do."

Jacob choked down a laugh. "I love you too."

**XXXXXXXX**

**a/n. Right, another short-ish one. Not to much happening, Sue's obviously a bitch, and She's gonna break it off with Sam in about a week. That's the plan anyway. Next chap will skip ahead a few days, only like one or two left. Reviews are always appreciated!! Hope you enjoyed. (: Oh yea, anyone wanna tell me how to get the line breaks to stay? I upload them to here with them in the document, then they like disappear. I don't know any other way to seperate the sections..**


	12. Doubt

_I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight,_

_Let's just fix this whole thing now.  
_

"Just breathe." Jacob rubbed Leah's back softly as they made their way to Billy's front porch.

They reached the porch and stopped before reaching the door. He wasn't nervous, he was excited. For the first time in a long time, he was doing something for himself. So was she. They were taking a bad situation, and probably making it worse, but it was for them. It was what made them happy, what they wanted more than anything. So they were doing it. It was going to be hard, they probably weren't going to get warm welcomes or congratulatory pats on the back, but the end result would be good.

"We can do this."

"I know. It's just hard." She pressed her forehead to his and sighed. "They're going to be pissed."

Jacob's stomach clinched. "You mean Sam is going to be pissed."

Leah shook her head and rolled her eyes. She knew that it had been hard on Jacob all this time, knowing that technically she was still committed to someone else, but she couldn't understand why he still worried. They were there to end it, for her to prove that she was finished with Sam. He had already showed her several times over the past few weeks that he was through with Bella. They never even spoke anymore. It was just different for her. She and Sam had once had their whole lives planned out, their dream house and dream cars, perfect kids and perfect family. It seemed that one day, all of their happiness, all of their devotion to each other and seemingly endless amounts of love, just stopped. It just ended abruptly and she couldn't get it back. It didn't seem like enough to just cut it off. But she was, because although she was sure she had once loved Sam, she knew beyond a reasonable doubt that she was in love with Jacob and that he was completely in love with her.

"It will all be over after today, I promise."

Though her words were meant to be reassuring, to rid him of whatever stupid sense of jealousy he still held towards her and Sam's relationship, they didn't. He still felt as if something was wrong. Like she really wasn't meant to be with him. They were so different, and he couldn't help but feel like she'd get tired of living the way they do. It was his job to sacrifice, not hers. Embry, Quil and Seth stuck by him because they were his friends, because they agreed with what he was doing. Leah was just there to watch after Seth, and now because she'd found something new with him, because he wasn't Sam and she had her freedom. Eventually she'd want her shower, and her makeup and hairdryer, her clean clothes and comfortable bed. It was only a matter of time, and he almost had a sense to stop her from breaking things off with Sam. To make her preserve what little bit of connection she still had with the one person that could give her everything she wanted. Had he not been infected with such a dangerously high level of jealousy and need for her, he might have. But the thought of him leaving without her, knowing she was with Sam, was enough to send Jacob flying off his hinges.

"I hope so."

With that, they knocked. Embry and the other two were already there, seated awkwardly in the living room amongst the other pack. Jacob watched them immediately calm down once he entered the room.

"Hey everyone." Jacob broke the ice, moving first to his father and offering his hand.

Billy scoffed and shoved his hand away. "You know I prefer hugs. You're not too old yet, son."

Jacob chuckled slightly and nodded, then dipped down and gave Billy the best hug he could manage with his large size and the wheelchair in the way.

"Glad you two could join us." Sue piped in, her voice cold and unsettling.

"Sue, always a pleasure." Jacob tilted his head up, offering the only greeting she'd get from him.

Leah, on the other hand, squeezed Jacob's hand one more time before crossing the room and sitting in the seat beside Sue. She watched as the boys got reacquainted and began fooling around like usual, all the tension that still lingered from their last few encounters being washed away after a few childish remarks and smacks over the head. After a few moments of laughing at the silly banter between over grown teenagers, Sue leaned over and whispered quietly in her ear.

"When was the last time you showered?"

Leah sighed. "A few days ago."

"Oh goodness, Leah. You cant live that way. It's not normal. You could at least take one every other day in the leeches nest. I hear their house is quite impressive."

Leah rolled her eyes at the judgment she heard in her mother's voice. It amazed her that she couldn't even let them get seated good before starting in on the way they live. Of course Leah would have liked to take a shower more often then she did, she hated living outside. She did it for her brother, for Jacob, and she was happy with them.

"We don't go up there anymore." Leah stated quietly. "Jacob meets with Carlisle once a week to talk about any kind of progression with the situation. We shouldn't have to stay much longer."

Sue stared at her, still in disbelief that her daughter would rather live outside like an animal than with her. It was a little hurtful, and insulting. She didn't understand what Leah saw in Jacob, nor in what he was doing. He was siding with vampires, living with them, helping them. She couldn't possibly believe that he was doing the right thing.

"The fact that you're there at all makes me sick." Sue said calmly, turning her attention back to the others. "You'll see soon enough. He's not what you think, and he has nothing to offer you. He's just using you because you make it so easy for him. He lives in the woods, it's not like he sees a lot of women around." She chuckled lightly. "and I doubt screwing with a vampire gives much satisfaction, I imagine it'd be like fucking an ice cube."

Leah didn't look back at her mother. She wouldn't give her the satisfaction that her surfacing tears surely would. She turned away, looking only to the TV, and tried desperately to blink them back. Her eyes were stinging, her nose noticeably turning redder by the second. She refused to cry in front of Sue, to let her know how much her words bothered her. But what could she say? Her mom would rather call her a whore and bash on Jacob's feelings for her than try to accept them, to really see how happy she was and respect that.

Jacob peeked over at Leah, immediately noticing the tears. He was really beginning to hate Sue. Sam had more of a right to be angry than her, and he'd managed to keep his trap shut for the duration of their visit so far. In fact, he was almost being friendly. Jacob watched Leah for a moment to see if she'd be able to get over whatever it was that Sue had said or done, but she didn't seem to be dealing too well. During the time it took him to debate over weather to intervene and go ahead and get the news broadcasted, Leah had shoved away any remnants of her emotions and stood.

She moved to the front of the room and shut off the TV, then turned and faced the small group. Jacob watched her as she inhaled deeply, obviously readying herself to give whatever speech she'd formulated in her head during the week she'd had to prepare. He was honestly surprised that she was initiating it so soon, he'd expected her to put it off as long as possible. It wasn't a secret that Sue made things hard for Leah. She had her entire life. Trying to dictate every move her daughter made. Clothes, hair, friends, boyfriends, activities, grades. Anything and everything that Leah was involved in, Sue tried her best to involve herself in it too. Leah's choices had honestly never really been hers. She had some freakish complex when it came to her mom, some sort of need to please her, to make her proud. To everyone else watching and aware of how things were between the two, her want to make Sue happy seemed almost insane. Leah should have resented Sue in a thousand different ways for a thousand different reasons, and although she tried her best to hide it, sometimes Jacob could catch small glimpses of how she really felt about her. He knew it was only a matter of time before Sue pushed her to far, said something a little too hurtful to take back, and by the look on Leah's face it seemed she may have done just that.

"I have something I want to tell all of you," Leah began, turning and looking only to her mother. "and I want to apologize in advance to Sam for doing it this way."

Sam's face flushed when she said his name. He knew what she was doing, and as much as Jacob was sure he wanted to fight it, he just nodded in Leah's direction and kept his mouth shut.

"Leah, don't do this." Sue whispered, releasing one of her embarrassed chuckles.

"Shut up." She continued. "I just wanted to clear a few things up with you all so that there's no confusion from this point forward."

"The wedding is off. Sam and I are finished, we have been for a while. During that time Jacob and I developed a sort of relationship and I've decided to pursue it. We both have. I love him, and I want to be with him. If that means that I'll be living in the woods helping vampires do whatever it is they need us for then so be it. I don't care what any of you think, I don't care if any of you approve. I'm done sneaking around and lying about it so here it is, out in the open."

Jacob turned his attention from her to the group about halfway through her little announcement and he was quite amused by what he saw. None of the pack members seemed surprised, not even Sam's. Billy and Old Quil seemed indifferent, neither showing any sort of strong emotion on the subject. Sam, to Jacob's surprise, seemed genuinely upset. But Sue, she was a sight. Her face was red and her eyes were wide, her fists were clinched and her hands were shaking. It was hilarious and it took all Jacob had not to laugh. Though it wasn't truly in Jacob's nature to be mean or hateful, he was rather enjoying seeing Sam and Sue suffering. He'd never be able to explain in words how much he despised his former alpha, and he'd never quite been able to hit him somewhere that really hurt. Not that he'd ever use Leah for something like that, it just added to the satisfaction that it bothered him, as pathetic as it may have been.

"Leah, you cant be serious." Sam said quietly.

"I am dead serious." Leah turned to him, then. "I've never been more serious…. What did you expect? I've been living with them all this time and you haven't so much as come to see me. When I'm home, you come by for a few minutes then leave. You don't call. You've never tried to discuss the problems you know good and well that we had in our relationship. You just wanted to pretend everything was okay, make me you're little housewife there waiting for you everyday when you got home. That's not me, and I'm not going to pretend that it is anymore. I want something different, something you cant give me."

"I can, Leah. I promise I can, I'll do whatever it takes. I'll change. I love you, I swear I do. You know me, you know that what we have is irreplaceable. I can give you everything you've ever wanted, we had plans. I haven't forgotten about them, I know that you still want that life. I'm sorry for treating you that way, you deserve more, I can give it to you. Please, baby…. I'll be whatever you want me to be."

Jacob's chest tightened. Hearing Sam say all of what he'd been thinking hurt him beyond belief. He couldn't even get angry at him for trying to convince her, Sam knew just as well as he did that Leah deserved more than a pallet on the ground in some vampire's backyard. It sounded so much different coming from someone else, and it didn't make him feel any better.

"I'm sorry Sam. I wasn't lying when I said I love him. I do, more than anything. I hate that we had to end this way, I honestly don't know if we could have worked.." Leah smiled lightly. "..we never really tried I guess. But I'm in love with Jacob…. And I need him."

Sam's clam veneer quickly faded, his usual pompous and callous attitude resurfacing with the continuous comparison to Jacob. He stood then, his frame shaking slightly.

"Leah can I speak to you outside, please?"

Jacob may have been unsure about Leah's decision to be with him, but he wasn't stupid. There was no way he was going to allow Sam to get her alone. Ex or not, he'd lost that right.

"We're leaving." Jacob stood and shoved past Sam, taking Leah's hand. "We just wanted to let you all know."

"This is ridiculous, Leah." Sue joined them in the middle of the room. "I know you're angry with me but there's no need to throw everything with Sam away. I know you love him, you know you love him."

Leah allowed Jacob to lead her to the door, stopping just short of the frame. "You don't know shit about me. You never have. It's sad that everyone in this room other than you and Sam haven't said a word and you're standing here trying to keep me from doing what makes me happy. It's pathetic that they are more accepting of Jacob and I… you're my mother. You, above everyone else, should want to see me happy… But you don't care about me, all you care about it yourself and what makes you look good…"

Leah took a deep breath. "Right now, at this moment… I honestly wouldn't care if I ever saw you again… I hope you're happy."

She looked over the room one more time before following Jacob's retreating figure. They didn't speak during the walk back to the Cullen's, neither felt much like phasing. Neither were at a point that they felt comfortable sharing their thoughts, neither too satisfied with how the night turned out. Jacob should have been, Leah had stood up for their relationship and pretty much confirmed without a doubt that she was in love with him and only him. But he just couldn't shake his and Sam's shared thoughts. How out of place she was with him and how much safer and more comfortable she'd be with Sam. It hurt, more than anything he'd ever felt, to think that he may be making a mistake by being with her. That he quite possibly could be ruining her chances at a perfect life.

"What are you thinking about?" Leah finally broke the silence about a mile from the Cullen's driveway, her voice a strangled mess.

"Are you okay?"

"I asked what you were thinking." She stopped and waited for him to turn, his back reflecting a thousand different things.

He was tense. His muscles flexed and unbelievably visible through his black shirt. "That's what I was thinking about…"

"I'm alright I guess…" She shrugged. "Just a little upset that my mom didn't even want to listen."

Jacob finally turned around, melting with the sight of her face. He could tell she was beyond upset. Although he would never understand how she could still care so much for her mother that obviously didn't care that much for her, why Sue's word always affected her so much. But he didn't have to understand, that was just how things were, and even though he didn't agree, he'd try his hardest to be supportive.

"Just give her some time." He pulled her to him, swallowing her entire upper body with his. "She's just upset with how things happened, I'm sure that after a while she'll get used to it and want to fix things with you."

He felt her body jar slightly, her grip on him tightening enough to almost hurt. "You know that wont happen."

Her voice was barely above a whisper, had he not been what he was, he wouldn't have heard it at all. He sighed heavily, in all honesty knowing she was right. He didn't believe for a second that Sue would ever admit she was wrong, and apparently lying to her wasn't going to fix anything.

"I'm so sorry, Lee." Jacob hadn't planned to say anything about his doubts, apart of him was afraid that if he gave her the opportunity to get out, she would. But hearing her quiet sobs forced it out.

"You don't have to do this.." He pulled her head up and held it tightly in his hands, her hair scrunched in between his fingers. "..go back to my dad's, tell them you made a mistake. You know they will both take you back. It doesn't have to be this way."

He watched her face scrunch in disapproval. She was giving him what he wanted, she was getting angry. Upset with him because he was suggesting that she didn't really love him, that her feelings for him were fueled by something else, maybe the freedom she had with him, who knows. His head was pounding. He wanted to send her away, make her leave and go back to them. But he couldn't force himself to do it, he couldn't willingly send away the one thing that he loved most in the world. The one person he knew he would always be happy with, that would always be there for him.

"I don't care about them, Jacob." Her voice was rough, sobs escaping through each word. "I wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to be here, with you. I meant everything I said. I love you, and I need you."

He dropped his forehead to hers, running his hands through her hair and down to her neck. "You have me. Always."

_I swear to God we're gonna get it right, _

_If you lay your weapon down. _

* * *

**a/n. Well, she did it. Don't get you're hopes to high though, the events in the prologue are in chapter fourteen. Next chapter things sort of fall apart. Have faith though, I never let you guys down. (: Review and let me know what you think!! Big thanks to Felon12 for all the help. Much loves, as always. Next chap should be up either later tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!**


	13. Over

_Red wine and ambien, you're talking shit again._

_It's heartbreak warfare. _

Jacob couldn't breathe. He was trapped inside the war that was waging in his head and just couldn't seem to get out. Since Saturday, he just hadn't been able to shake the rabid thoughts that were pounding their way through his head over and over again. Repeating Sam's words and mixing them with his own thoughts he'd had that same night, sending him into a sort of brood mode he couldn't get himself out of. It wasn't like Leah was helping. She was still upset, still allowing Sue's harsh words to haunt her. Her mood only seemed to fuel Jacob's newfound realization that he really just wasn't good for her. He had no idea why he had allowed it to happen, and he wasn't sure if he could allow it any longer. If she was going to be miserable, and be forced out of her family and home because of him, it wasn't worth it. He loved her, hands down. Which is precisely why the thoughts were bothering him the way they were. He didn't want to see her unhappy. And unhappy seemed to be the most common of emotions as of recently.

Neither had really talked for the entirety of the day. Leah was running patrol with Seth, leaving Jacob to dwell on what seemed to be the end of his short happy period. The only one that he'd be able to remember for the rest of his eternal life. She said she loved him, that she needed him, but he couldn't force himself to believe it. Love him, maybe_. But need_? Absolutely not. He had nothing that she could possibly need, nothing to offer, nothing to give. Nothing but himself and Bella had shown him exactly how far that'd get him. He didn't need a repeat of his fiasco with her, not with someone like Leah who had all the potential to break him into a million pieces. He could see it playing out already. She'd live with him for a while, they'd be okay, maybe happy. Then one day, she'd wake up and miss Sam, she'd miss Sue and her home. Then would come the famous, _'I love him, I'm so sorry.'_, bullshit that would most likely send him into a vicious rage. A guy can only hear that some other man is better than him so many times, and for Jacob, once was plenty.

As long as he'd been sitting in the same exact spot thinking over the same exact things, he still couldn't find a way to fix it. Not without being a complete dick. If he tried to do it nicely, give her the _'its for your own good' _speech, she'd break him down bit by bit and he'd cave just like always. She'd counter him with her feelings and how strongly she felt for him, no matter how many times she said it, I love you coming from Leah Clearwater was like Heaven in a sentence. It sent him into a lovesick high every time, and he knew that if she had the chance to use it, he'd be forever lost. Always awaiting the day that she'd change her mind and break him down into nothing. He honestly had nothing left. Not after Bella. Not after trying so hard for so long and continuously giving and giving and….waking up one morning to find you've spent the better part of a few years trying for something that was never even close to being yours. Jacob was hers when it was convenient, when she didn't have Edward. In her eyes, Jacob was only good enough when Edward wasn't around. It was sick, and after that he knew he'd never be able to give that much again. It just wasn't in him anymore. He wasn't even sure what he had left. Everything was so blurred, so repetitive. It was a cycle he wasn't sure how to break.

Leah had shown him a tiny hint of light. Something to look forward to every day, something he could have without struggle. She was his, always. It was just how long that was the big issue. What kind of relationship could they have if he was constantly dreading and anticipating the day that she'd leave?

He was quickly snapped from his thoughts with the sound of approaching paws. It wasn't Leah or Seth, and after a few minutes, he could tell that it wasn't one of his at all. It was over the border, lining it, heading in his direction. Jacob heard the sound of someone phasing, then footsteps, then…

"Hey Jacob."

"Sam."

Jacob nodded in Sam's direction but didn't look at him. How could he? He was right this time. He could give her what she needed, and Jacob was taking that away from her.

"What's going on?" Jacob asked when Sam remained silent.

"I should be asking you that." He folded his arms and continued to watch Jacob. "Sulking in the woods alone usually means something's up…"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "I know you didn't come here to talk about my feelings, Sam."

"No, actually I didn't." Sam sighed. "I wanted to check on Leah."

"What to show her that you're changing? To try and win her back?" Jacob accused, the usual fire absent in his voice.

"No.."

Jacob stayed quiet for a minute, thinking over his next words carefully. "You should be."

Sam's eyes shot up, taking in Jacob's expression to see if he was serious. He looked tortured, upset. Sam couldn't help but be concerned, enemy or not. He was once a brother.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked cautiously.

"She shouldn't be here, Sam." Jacob's voice was desperate. "She deserves more than this. You and I both know that."

"She loves you." Sam choked out. "Not me."

"She does love you. Maybe not like she feels she does me, but it's there. She's said it herself. She'll always love you. She should be marrying you, living that dream life you both planned out. Not living out here like some fucking animal, scrounging for leftovers and sleeping in the goddamn mud."

Sam stared at him, wide eyed, unable to comprehend what he was saying. "You love her… don't you?"

"Of course I do!" Jacob stood up and turned to face Sam, his eyes bloodshot and filled with unshedable tears. "But what the hell does that count for? Look where me and the others are, right now. We're not getting out of here anytime soon! These fucking leeches will milk our help for as long as they can scare us into it. What the hell am I supposed to do in two years when we're still here? What am I supposed to tell her then? That it will get better? **FUCK**!"

He slammed his fist deep into the nearest tree, knocking it off balance. A loud crack sounded through the forest as the tree gave way, the final slam of tree against ground loud enough to be heard for miles. Sam continued to stare, unbelieving.

"It _wont_ get better, Sam. Not for us. That is why I'm doing this… that is why I'm here and you're not. Because I have nothing. _nothing_. I'm here because it's my place to be here. It's my job. She doesn't deserve this. She'll get over me, whatever feelings she has for me… they'll fade with time. After you're married and have your house and furniture and comfortable life… she'll forget. I'm the one that will remember. I'll remember because my time with her is all I'll have to hold onto after this. She doesn't need me Sam… not like I need her." Jacob ran his hands down his face roughly, taking in a deep breath. "But I can get over it. I'll be okay. I just need you to do something for me."

Sam nodded.

"Be there when I send her away. Be what she wants you to be, what she needs. Don't ignore her and expect her to sit around the house…she's a shape shifter, treat her like one. She hates being undermined. Just let her have it sometimes… even if you think she's wrong.." Jacob chuckled slightly. "..it's not that difficult. I'm going to make her leave. Kick her out of my pack and breakup with her. Tell her that you're there for her, that you love her and understand and that you still want to marry her. She'll be alright."

Sam shook his head slightly, almost unwilling to take her away from someone who obviously loved her so much. Someone that he knew could make her happy beyond a reasonable doubt. He almost wanted to walk away and pretend he'd never had this conversation, like he didn't see Jacob breaking down and giving up the only good thing left in his life. It was painful watching him suffer so much, but he was right. Leah did deserve more, he just wasn't sure if _he_ deserved Leah. Not after seeing what kind of devotion she had with Jacob, what sort of bond they shared. Not after really seeing Jacob for the first time, what kind of man he was, what she had with him.

"Jacob… I don't.."

"I'm going to do it either way. You can either make her happy, or not. The fault will be on you."

Sam inhaled deeply, finally nodding his head and looking to the ground.

"I'm doing it tonight. She'll go home to Sue, tell her what's going on. You two take care of her."

Jacob turned to walk away, his tears still building. He felt sick, nauseated. God knows it was the last thing he wanted to do, he wanted her with him, forever. Always. But it just wasn't right. He was taking things away from her, holding her back from having a good life. He couldn't do that to someone he loved with all his being.

"Just for the record.." Jacob looked over his shoulder. ".. I love that woman with everything I am.. I would go to the ends of the earth for her. I'd do anything, literally, for her to be happy. I don't ever want you to think any different. She's the only thing I see, the only thing I breathe. I want you to know that I may be giving her up, but you'll never love her the way I do. You'll never know how much she means to me. ….Take care of her, Sam."

Sam's throat closed. He didn't know what to say.

"I'll kill you if I hear otherwise."

He smiled a little at that, Jacob's disappearing figure still holding all the power and authority it did when he was close. Sam turned back for home. He had to tell Sue. Sure, he loved Leah, but he just wasn't sure anymore. He wasn't sure if he was who she should be with. Not after seeing what he'd just seen. But, Jacob was going to send her home anyway. At least he could do what Jacob asked, or try. Weather Leah agreed to it or not was still questionable. Either way, he had a lot of planning to do if he was going to get this right. He had to get it right this time.

* * *

"Jacob what are we doing at the border? I thought we were gonna get something to eat?"

For the first time in a long time, Leah was nervous. Jacob had been acting extremely strange all day, and he wouldn't talk to her about whatever was bothering him. He flat refused to talk about anything. He'd just say he was fine and move past her. No eye contact, no physical contact. Nothing. It was like he wasn't really there, just hovering in an almost ghost like form.

"Please, Jake.." She grabbed his hand and spun him around. "..talk to me.."

He caught her eyes then, and it wasn't any better. They were pained, hurt looking. Red rimmed and bloodshot, almost like he'd been crying. She lifted her hand to his face and placed it on his cheek, rubbing small circles with her thumb.

"What's the matter?" She pleaded.

Jacob shook his head slightly, removing her hand with his own, before dipping down and kissing her. It was rough and desperate, his hands gripping the sides of her face with almost painful force. She didn't hesitate to kiss him back, the panic she felt in it rushing through her. When he pulled away all remnants of whatever was bothering him before were gone, leaving nothing behind. His face was hard and cold, his eyes black and empty. He was honestly scary looking, and he was starting to frighten her the slightest bit.

"I want you to leave." He said bluntly.

She drew her head back in confusion. "What?"

"I said, I want you to leave. Now." He stepped away from her. "I don't want you in my pack anymore."

"Uh.. I'm not following?"

"It's really easy, Clearwater." He continued to move away from her. "Get across the border, you're no longer in my pack. I don't want you here."

"What about--"

"There is no _us._ I don't want _you_. I don't love you. I don't need you. Your mom was right, I used you, and now I'm threw with you. Leave, now."

Leah stood for a minute, dumbfounded. It didn't take her long at all to realize that he was completely and totally serious. There was no doubt in his face, in his voice. He was being honest.

"What about everything you said? We just told everyone about us, you said you loved me… what happened to you always being there for me?"

"I lied."

"I don't believe you."

"I don't care. You're leaving all the same."

His voice was ice. Nothing even resembling emotion resting in any part of him. She wasn't sure how to react. Her heart was slowly shattering, every word he spoke with his frosty tone sending another crack through it. She watched him slowly moving away from her, creating all the distance he could. She moved towards him, he flinched away. Her hands began to shake and she found herself unable to speak, though she knew there was really nothing to say. There was no talking to him, not when he was like that.

"Being over here makes you fair game, I suggest you leave."

Leah shook her head, but it took her all of five seconds to really get flustered when he phased. The large russet wolf was standing inches away from her, his breathing heavy, his eyes wild. It wasn't Jacob. Not even close, and that's what truly scared her the most. He was gone, lost somewhere in his mind. All that was left was this wolf, standing in front of her ready to attack if she didn't comply to his demand. To leave.

"I don't know why you're doing this…" She breathed. "..but I want you to know that I love you, and there's nothing in this world that can make me happier than I am when I'm with you. I don't care where we live, what we have. You're all that matters to me, and I know somewhere deep down, you know that's the truth."

The wolf wasn't phased. He only stood and waited, his patience noticeably wearing thin. Leah reluctantly backed away, hesitating at the invisible line. She didn't want to go, and she didn't understand where this was coming from. They had been fine before. She wasn't going to act pathetic and beg him, but God knows she wanted to. If she thought it would help she would have already been on her knees asking him what the hell was going on, why he was making her leave when she knew that he loved her so. He couldn't hide it, she'd seen it herself. You cant fake that sort of emotion. He was afraid, and she knew that, but he was taking it to far. Pushing her away wasn't going to make things better, it would only make him even more unhappy. She didn't want that any more than he did. But he had made up his mind, she could see it in his empty face. So, she took one last good look at him, and turned to walk home.

It didn't take long before she was in tears. She tried as hard as she could to hold it together, but she was alone, who cared? Nobody was there to judge her, what use was it to keep it stifled. It was bound to erupt eventually. She just lost the one person she cared for most in the world in the most random turn of events she'd ever seen, and nothing to explain what had happened. She kept thinking about him, what he was probably doing, where he was, what he was thinking. It wasn't hard to guess. The hardest thing for her to swallow, was that she knew he didn't truly want her to leave, yet he was forcing her away from him. For what? To make her happy? He was destroying her. To be sure she has a good life? He just took the perfect life away from her. So that she could sleep in a bed? Fuck a bed. Whatever it was, it seemed as if she had honestly lost this time. He was gone. Better yet, he'd made _her_ leave. It was really over.

* * *

a/n. Lol.. How dramatic was _that? _Wedding next chapter. The prologue will be incorporated into the chapter but it starts off differently. Reviews PLEASE!


	14. Wedding

_Good to know it's all a game, _

_Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak. _

_Heartbreak. _

"He wont meet with you Leah.." Rachel tried to reason with her friend, having a really hard time seeing her so upset.

"Maybe now that he's calmed down a little.. Maybe he's had enough time to--"

"Lee… he's not going to change his mind. He's already told Sam he'd be at the wedding.."

Leah's heart sunk. All the hopeful thoughts and well planned out speeches she'd been going over in her head were all shot down to nothing. Maybe he really didn't want her anymore. Maybe he was telling the truth when he said all that stuff.

"I just don't understand how he can go from being completely and totally into us, then turn around and not want anything to do with me. I know he loves me Rach. I've seen it, I've felt it. You cant fake that, and I know that you cant just forget it."

Rachel sighed and shrugged. What could she say? Leah knew what she was talking about, everyone knew he loved her. Probably more than he'd ever even thought about loving Bella. He was just afraid. All that macho alpha bullshit and hormone induced anger and confidence felt like nothing when involving love and emotions. Jacob was afraid of Leah because of what he knew she could do to him. He was able to overlook all the happiness and freedom he felt with her purely out of fear.

"I know that, and you know that… he just doesn't want to. He's afraid…"

"Wow.." Leah scoffed. "..what a wonderful excuse."

"It's not an excuse, Leah." Rachel handed Leah a cup of coffee, sighing after glancing at the neon numbers screaming at her from the microwave. Three in the morning. "I'm not saying what he did was right, but I do understand where he's coming from by feeling like you don't really belong with him."

"and how is that?"

"He lives in the woods…" She offered, as if that said enough.

"So did I… for almost six months….and I never once complained." Leah argued, still not seeing how it all added up.

She was angry, and hurt, and wanted some damn answers. She wanted to talk to him and ask him what the hell was going on in that big dumb skull of his, why in the world he would think that making her leave was best. He was making her miserable. She _was_ miserable. She'd only been home for two days and she was damn near close to running away and never looking back. She missed Jacob, she missed sleeping with him and Seth and Embry and even Quil. She missed all the stupid jokes and freakish conversations they had that usually made no sort of sense. She missed the leeches' food and Emmett's weird crush on her. La Push was where she grew up, but without Jacob, it would never be her home.

"Leah…" Rachel groaned, not really in the mood to argue. "the fact of the matter is, he sent you away with no intentions of letting you come back. You're set up to marry Sam on Saturday, and he'll be there. Personally, if you really want the truth, I don't think Jake'll let it happen. He's to proud and way to stubborn to sit by and let Sam marry you when he knows that he loves you the way he does.."

Leah watched Rachel for a minute, allowing the words to soak in. That was true, and she hadn't thought about it. He did love her, more than he loved anyone else, he wouldn't really let her marry Sam with him standing right there. Would he? She guessed that was the only way she could really be sure. Go through with it and see what happens. If Jacob was serious she'd probably end up marrying Sam eventually anyway. If she truly had no chance of being with Jacob, her presence in La Push, and her mother's ability to control everything in her life would end up shoving her and Sam back together at some point. Even if not right away.

"You're right." Leah declared, standing and grabbing her jacket, then throwing it over the tiny tank top she'd come over in. "I guess we'll just have to see how things play out."

Rachel smiled. "Yep. Now, please, I don't want to be rude, but I'm tired as hell. You should probably get home."

Leah laughed a little and nodded, saying her goodbyes and heading back to her house. When she got there she tip toed up the stairs and curled up in the bed. She tried her best to push all other thoughts from her mind, just sleep. So with all thoughts of Jacob and Sam shoved away, she allowed herself to do just that.

* * *

In La Push, sunshine was a rare delicacy. So when there were no clouds in the sky and temperatures were at a strange high on the day of a wedding, you can imagine the cliché comments the bride and groom were receiving.

"See, mother nature gives her blessings.." Leah's mother combed through her long waves, the beautiful condition of her hair another oddity.

It was the day she had been waiting for. Six months of preparing, of planning and tasting. Of fittings and families oozing their happiness. It should have been the best day of her life, she should have been exited, she should have had butterflies and been excitedly rushing around trying to look her best.

Instead she sat and stared at her reflection. The tears threatening her makeup, the sobs threatening her veneer. She wanted to run away, to rip the carefully picked dress off and burn it. She could hear her family members and friends start to giggle as the time ticked, every second counting down to the moment she dreaded most. When she walked down that isle, when she said her vows and agreed to be Sam Uley's life partner, his wife, her heart was going to shatter.

Because his was.

She felt her brother's presence as he approached her, taking her arm and leading her to the door. Everything was hazed, nothing was clear anymore. Everything was silent, though she could see people talking to her and knew the music was playing she heard nothing. Nothing but a heartbeat.

His heartbeat.

She felt the tears forcing their way to the surface, angry with her for what she was doing. Seth looked to her with a sympathetic yet almost patronizing expression. Both of them knowing the consequences of what she was about to do. He saw her tears and squeezed her hand.

"You don't have to do this Leah… it's your choice." His words broke through the barrier of silence she had created, pulsating through her mind as they began to walk.

As they made their way down the isle, the sun illuminated every color and object. Everything was bright and beautiful, the flowers almost blinding. The grass the greenest she had ever seen it, the sky an almost unbelievable shade of blue. Everyone was staring at her, all smiling and chuckling excitedly as Seth led her to Sam, handing her off when they reached the alter. She looked back to him, on the verge of a breakdown, but he only nodded. Moving to take his place with the others.

_Dearly Beloved….._

It began, the preacher started the ceremony as Sam took her hand. His smile burning holes through her. She tried to stay focused but let her eyes wander, landing on the only person she wanted to be near.

His face was hard, his eyes reflecting just what she was feeling. His own angry tears threatening his stony eyes. They made eye contact and it was almost to much. Everything they had been through, everything they had done flashed between the two in a matter of seconds. Both remembering every word, every wish, every night they spent together.

_Do you, Sam Uley…_

Leah shifted, her eyes never leaving Jacob's. It was coming.

_Take Leah Clearwater…_

Jacob didn't move, only stared. His eyes tearing into hers as they stood hoping time would suddenly just stop and let them leave.

_To be your lawfully wedded wife?_

She felt the first tear fall and trickle down her cheek, landing on her chest. The entire pack was watching, all knowing what was going on, but none could say a word. It wasn't their fight.

_I do._

It was her turn, and he knew what was coming. His world was spinning, there was nowhere left for him to fall.

_Do you Leah Clearwater…_

Her hands went limp inside Sam's grasp, she didn't want to listen. She didn't want to answer. She wanted him to take her away, to save her.

_Take Sam Uley…_

He closed his eyes, unable to watch hers when she said it. To watch the lie play out, to watch her fall into his bullshit love story, knowing what he had told her.

_To be your lawfully wedded husband?_

A sob escaped, the tears flowing heavily. She stared at Jacob, watching as he closed his eyes and partially turned away from her. She realized that it was her turn to speak, to answer. She choked.

His eyes opened with her silence, catching her gaze again and cocking his head. Her tears calling for him to make it stop, to make her happy like he knew he could.

Sam cleared his throat, shaking Leah's hands slightly. Her eyes moved around the platform, to her brother and the pack, to the pastor and to Sam. She tried to speak but was unable, finding no words.

Everyone started muttering, the crowd shifting uncomfortably as she stayed silent.

"Leah? Will you be the wife of Sam Uley?"

When she remained silent, Jacob couldn't contain his confusion. He shook his head at her and his pained expression only fueled her building tears. She wanted to go with him, to snatch him up and lead him away, to forget all of this. But what about everything he'd said? If he wasn't going to object, if he was going to let this happen, maybe he truly meant them.

"Leah…" Sam hissed.

She glanced back at him only momentarily before returning her attention to Jacob, urging him to give her what she needed. To give her any sort of sign, a motion, a click, a wink, a sigh, a nod….

Jacob pushed past Embry and Seth, yanking off his coat and making his way down the isle. He was leaving. There was no sign, no fight, he was leaving her there to be with another man. He was giving up on whatever it was that they had, because he was afraid. What could she say to that? What sort of reaction did that call for? The only one she could muster up was…

"I do."

The crowd slowly began clapping and Sam released a breath of relief, everyone still seemed confused. She'd lost sight of Jacob before she said yes, but heard him right after. She and the few members of Jacob's pack were the only ones able to hear it, a low, torturous howl made it's way out of the trees and to them. She felt sick. Embry, Seth and Quil hung their heads as they made their way to the woods, they weren't staying either. She released Sam's hands just as the kiss was due, but she didn't care. What difference did it make now?

"Seth?" She caught his arm and spun him around. "Where are you going?"

"You know where I'm going."

"I didn't want this." She said slowly, quietly, knowing it was the truth. "I made a mistake."

"then fix it."

She turned to Sam and shook her head slightly, "I'm leaving," was all she managed to say.

He grinned. "We're married now. You said yes, you cant leave."

"I made a mistake, this is wrong, this isn't what I want."

"Well, you've already agreed. You're mine now."

She tried to run, but he caught her. She kept hearing his words in her head over and over, _'we're married now, you're mine'_

How could she have been so stupid? She looked to the crowd for support, for anyone's support, but nobody was paying attention. Seth and the others had turned to leave, they didn't even look back. Sam's pack only stood by and waited, for what she didn't know. She continued to pull away from him, but he was much stronger. She heard herself beginning to yell for someone to get him off of her, but they weren't listening. Everything seemed surreal, her world was spinning. She shoved him away and shook her head furiously.

"NO! no, no, no, no…."

"**LEAH**!"

She heard Jacob's voice and her eyes shot open. Her body jolted upright, meeting his already horizontal frame. She looked around and was immediately confused. They were on the beach. She was lying on a towel, a fire in front of them, the sun was just beginning to color the sky. The sight of him was confusing, but a relief all the same. She flung her arms around his neck and squeezed as tight as possible, receiving many grunts and groans of protest.

"Leah… you're choking me… I cant-- breathe -- let…"

She loosened her grip and began laughing loudly. Had it really all been a dream?

"What the hell were you dreaming about?"

"I had a dream that I was at the alter… mine and Sam's wedding…. You left and I said yes… he wouldn't let me leave and nobody would listen." She sighed. "It was horrible."

"Hmm." He shook his head. "Well, that didn't really happen."

He frowned. "Look, we're on our honeymoon, can you please refrain from dreaming about Sam? It's a little offensive.."

She rolled her eyes and pulled him down on top of her. "You're probably the most jealous person I've ever met.."

"I'm telling you.. You women have really screwed me up…"

She laughed quietly as he took his place beside her, pulling her body to him and wrapping his arms around her. It was an amazing feeling, being in his arms. One that she'd never be able to explain. She nuzzled her head deep into his chest, allowing the steady strum of his heart to ease her back into sleep.

"You can rest easy knowing you married me, not that douche."

Had she not been mostly gone, she would have laughed at his choice word for Sam. For her ex boyfriend, ex fiancé, ex alpha, ex friend. He may have meant it to be funny, but he was right. Knowing that she'd made the right choice was plenty enough to rid her of anymore nightmares involving Sam, and it did. Jacob was never wrong for her, he was never _not_ good enough, he was perfect. And he was hers.

**

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****a/n. Hehehehe. Epilogue coming up, it will explain what really happened. That will be the last chapter of the story. This is technically the last **_**chapter**_** but, you all know what I mean. Please review and let me know what ya think. (: Loves to all my readers!**


	15. Epilogue

_It's heartbreak warfare._

_It's heartbreak warfare._

_It's heartbreak warfare._

The rain drops slide down the window in un-perfect patters, leaving splotched trails along the glass. The thunderstorm came so suddenly that there was no saving the outside decorations, but the atmosphere fits her mood perfectly. If anything, she's satisfied with it. Her dress tail is pulled into a silken pile around her feet, covering the dirt that she didn't bother to wipe away upon arriving. What's the point? She looks in the mirror and can feel her stomach turning at the sight. This isn't her. It's not who she _really_ is. She's told them so many times but nobody seems to want to hear it. It reminds her of an old-time family choosing the perfect husband for their perfect daughter, paying no mind to her true wishes. Funny how all these years later, it's still happening in some way or another. She knows that the choice is still there, still open for her to change at any time. They cant really make her do anything. A part of her is wondering why all of this is based around someone else. Why is it that her life has been centered around someone she really doesn't love, and she's getting married to him because the only person that actually gets her is, what, afraid of her? It's always someone else. The bouquet in her hand is suddenly sickening and she cant remember ever actually picking it out. What part of this wedding was her idea? How had someone else taken even that away from her? She looks back to her reflection and notes how much she hates the way her hair is done, how tacky this makeup is on her face, how un-like-her the dress is. It's all perfect, down to the tee, and she knows that if she'd have had a say, it would be so different.

The black eyeliner is too dark, the sparkles are too much. The red on her lips reminds her of a hooker and the dress looks as if it's a thousand years old. The sequins decorating the corset-type-top are tacky and unflattering. Her breasts don't fit quite right. The colors of the wedding suddenly seem to clash and the flowers in her hands are her absolute least favorite type of flower in the world. Did her mother do all this? Does she really care so little for what she wants, or does she just know nothing about her? If so, what kind of relationship do they have? She sinks into the large leather chair in the middle of her dressing room and can feel her eyes beginning to sting. She's not so much upset, but angry. Angry with how things have turned out. Angry at her mother for caring more for what others think than her own daughter. Angry at Sam for being able to sway her so easily. Angry at Jacob for making her leave. Angry at herself for letting all of it happen. Thinking back, Jacob is the only choice she's ever made, and she let that go just like everything else. She closes her eyes and her father's face appears so vividly that she could swear that he's standing right in front of her. She gives a soft smile and her mind wanders around what he might think of it, what he might have said if he were there to give her advice. It doesn't take long because out of everyone, he's always known her best. He would want her to be happy. Happy because she has what she wants. Happy because she's made all the mistakes and all the decisions herself. Happy because her life is what she wants it to be. Happy because she wasn't afraid to be alone. Because she should be all that matters.

The past few months play over in slow motion as she sits, listening to the music begin playing in the main room of the building. There are cheers and claps and the door to her room is opening and someone is telling her its almost time. She shakes her head a little, so many different emotions and new options running through her mind. She cant help but wonder how different things would be had she stayed that night Jacob sent her away. He wouldn't have attacked her. He wouldn't have hurt her. Why did she even leave? - Because he told her to. The thought makes her sick because no matter what the situation, she's always done what she was told. Even now, she's in this stupid dress in this stupid room with all these stupid people waiting for her to give them a show. - Because Sue told her to. She stands abruptly, knocking the chair backwards. Who is Sue to tell her what she wants? Who is Sam to take advantage of her obvious lack-of-balls? Who is Jacob to send her away like some sort of pet that comes and goes as _he_ pleases? There's a crowd in the next room waiting for her, waiting to see a beautiful wedding. Waiting for the beautiful couple to leave and live happily ever after in a beautiful cottage on the reservation with a horde of beautiful children and an oven full of beautiful muffins. She can hear herself almost growling as she watches images of Sam coming through the door over and over again to her standing in the kitchen with an apron around her waist and a child in her arms, watching over dinner she's been cooking all day long play behind her eyes. He's happy to see her waiting for him. Sue wants to see her waiting for him, on him. She's waiting for Sue to come get her. She's waiting for the right time to walk down the isle. She's waiting for Sam to understand her. She's waiting for Sue to respect her. She's waiting for Jacob to come walking in the door and demand that she come back home with him. She's waiting for Seth to sweep in and sneak her away from all this. - She's tired of waiting.

Her eyes shift to Rachel who is still standing in the door, looking rather frightened. "Are you alright?"

"No," she says too loudly. "No, I'm not alright."

She takes another glance at the mirror before pulling each and every pin out of her hair and throwing them to the ground, leaving her long tresses in thick curls around her shoulders. She throws the bouquet into the small garbage can by the door and moves quickly to the closet for her bag of just-in-case clothes. She doesn't bother unzipping the dress, just rips it off and tosses it to the side. The push up bra her mother insisted on is shredded as well, along with the lace underwear to match. From there, a pair of boy shorts and a regular bra are fitted to her and she's in her favorite pair of jeans and a loose fitting t-shirt. Her tennis shoes are swiftly pulled on and she's hauling the bag over her shoulder as she moves around Rachel and out the door. Jacob's sister doesn't try to stop her, but follows animatedly when Leah heads in the direction of the on-going ceremony.

Upon entering the very large, very elegantly decorated room, the first thing Leah notices is Sue. She's still coordinating, still controlling everyone around her, even as the groom's men and bride's maids are making their way to the alter in a single file line. Leah sees the exact moment when Sue plans to come get her and catches her eye as soon as she starts in her direction. Sue stops, her brows raised slightly, silently asking the same question that's roaming around in all of the people seated in the back row with a perfect view of the… 'bride'. She only shakes her head and starts walking again, this time up the isle. Her eyes search the crowd and finally land on Jacob, sitting with Seth and Embry and Quil. With his family. _Their_ family. She narrows her eyes when he doesn't look away from the alter and her steps quicken when she sees him growing more and more impatient. He was really going to let her go through with it. He was going to watch as she married someone else, knowing how she felt about him. The thought alone makes her want to rip his head off, but when she reaches his isle, she doesn't stop. She passes them and can feel their eyes land on her as she shoves Kim and Jared out of the way and leaps up the alter steps in a very un-lady-like manner. Sam's eyes grow wide and his hands unintentionally release the pillow he was holding until the ring boy returned.

"Leah?" He hisses, his eyes roaming sheepishly around the room. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm leaving," she says loudly. Loudly enough to snag anyone's attention who hadn't noticed her barreling up the isle. "I'm leaving right now and I'm not coming back. You know I don't love you. I'm not marrying you. I cant honestly believe that you'd still agree with it knowing that I love someone else. Point is, I'm outta here and I'm taking my pack with me."

She hands him the nicely cut diamond ring he'd given her what seems like forever ago now, and turns back to the crowd staring her down with obvious distain. Sue is rushing around the people, shouting pleas and whispering profanities every time someone steps in her way. Leah ignores her and hops down from the stage in front of where Jacob and the others are sitting. Her hands are on her hips and her face is a vision of determination and every one of them are staring at her with disbelieving eyes. She doesn't flinch. Seth is the first to grin, sheepishly, but with a light heart. He knew she would make the right decision and he's the first one to stand and tug his perfectly tailored jacket off, placing it carefully over the back of the seat in front of him. He joins her in silently demanding the others to follow them. Embry and Quil take absolutely no convincing and, ignoring an irate Sue, they do the same as Seth. Jacob stands but doesn't move, watching Leah with clashing brows and a gaze that she cant quite read. He shakes his head and looks over to Sam who is still too shellshocked to realize that he just got dumped in front of his entire town, the two share a brief glance, and Sam finally shrugs. Jacob folds his arms and frowns.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going home."

"I thought I told you -"

"You lied."

His eyes narrow and so do hers, and neither give in to the smile they feel tugging at their lips.

"You know I cant give you anything," he says smugly.

"You know I don't care."

"You know I live outside."

"You know that doesn't matter."

The crowd is slowly clearing out of the building, losing interest once the perfect bride turned out to be not-so-perfect, and the perfect groom showed no intention of trying to win her back. They could care less for the outcasts and their drama.

"I'm a mess," he states confidently.

"I'm tired of being told what to do."

"I still have dreams about Bella."

"I'm still better than her."

Sue is still yelling and Seth is restraining her now, begging her to just leave them alone. She's turned on him, appalled that her baby boy is still taking the side of the last person she wants her daughter to be with. Sam lays a hand on Sue's shoulder and sighs, tells her that it's alright, that he isn't meant to be with her. She knows that he's right, but still cant accept what her daughter is suggesting.

"I'm leaving Washington once I leave this building," he says, moving around the row of seats separating them.

"I don't want to stay here."

"I'm never looking back."

"I don't see why you would."

He's in front of her now, watching her with something akin to fascination. He cant understand why she would want this, why she would want him. There's the world, everything she can have, at her disposal just waiting for her to give the thumbs up. Yet, she's throwing it all away… for what? He's flustered now, running out of things to throw at her.

"What do you want?" He asks, his hands fisted at his sides.

"I want you."

"But why?"

"I've told you why."

"It doesn't make sense."

"It doesn't have to. You don't want to leave without me."

Her face is so calm now, so relaxed and at ease and he could almost swear that she knows she's already won. Embry and Quil have turned their attention to Seth and Sue who are still bickering and he can feel every excuse he's prepared flushing out along with the color in his face. She's winning, somehow. He had every reason to make her leave, every _good_, selfless reason to let her walk away. She did, and now she's back. It isn't supposed to work this way, not with him. He who has no luck, nothing good in his life. He who has had every curveball thrown his way and struck out during every at-bat he's been offered. It just doesn't seem logical.

"I don't understand," he whispers, defeated.

"What's so hard about it?"

"I don't think I'm supposed to have anything."

"You've just never had that right something."

"What about you? What about your mom, and Sam?"

"You're my decision. They'll accept it sooner or later. If not, who cares?"

The certainty in her voice offers him a firm sense of comfort and before he can really think, he's hugging her. Her hair smells so much like home and the feel of her skin takes him back to the only place that he's ever truly felt like he belongs. With her. With Seth and Embry and Quil. His family. _Their_ family. Her fingers are tracing soothing patterns into his hair and his hands are clutching the back of her shirt as if it's suddenly life or death. He focuses on the rise and fall of her chest pressed against his and he gives her neck the smallest, softest kiss she's ever felt before pulling away. He's going to let her make this decision for him, for their pack, because she's never really been wrong. He trusts her because even though she's spent all this time listening to everyone else, her word has always been the truest. He'll follow her this time, and wont say a word. He's tired of trying to control everything. Trying and failing and trying again. It hasn't worked for him, this Alpha thing. He cant lead anyone because he can barely lead himself. But she can, and he's going to let her.

"Where do you want to go?" he asks, his lips barely grazing her cheek.

"Somewhere warm."

"Somewhere far away."

"Somewhere loud and obnoxious."

"Somewhere with strange people and disgusting food."

She smiles, and he knows that neither have a clue what they're talking about. But it sounds so perfect for them, so absolutely imperfect that it'll fit them to a tee. Because they're not perfect in any way, and they need the imperfections to balance them out. He pulls his hands away from her and shrugs the jacket off, tossing it over to rest with the others on the back of a chair that was vacated only moments ago by someone there to see a wedding. And then he smiles.

"Marry me," he says lamely.

"What?"

"Your mom got all these disgusting decorations and the preacher is still here so….marry me."

"Why?"

"Because you love me."

Her head tilts to the side and her heart is thumping so hard she's sure it's going to burst through her rib cage at any moment. He's right, she loves him, and that's why she should marry him. Not because he loves her, because he wants to… but because she wants it. She rolls her eyes but smiles and takes his hand, leading him up to the preacher who is still standing with an odd expression. She knows how it looks, sending away one groom and replacing him with another five minutes later. But she doesn't care. Neither does he.

"We want to get married," she informs him with a grin.

"I see. And… what is the name of the new groom."

Jacob laughs. "Jacob Black."

Sue has stopped yelling, stopped talking, stopped moving. She's staring at her daughter, her mouth agape and eyes wide, filled with unshed tears. Why she's actually crying is hard to determine. The loss of her daughter. The loss of her son. The loss of the control she's held onto for so long. She's losing everything, and she knows she has no say this time.

Seth and Quil and Embry stand behind the two, smiling, chuckling quietly as they watch the most unorthodox wedding they'll probably ever attend. Leah is gripping Jacob's hand tightly, bouncing goofily as the preacher begins to recite the mile long list of vows and promises and things that neither have the mind nor time for. Jacob clears his throat.

"Can we skip all that?"

The preacher frowns. "Care to add any vows?"

He turns to Leah and it's all he can do to keep from bursting into laughter as he takes both her hands in his. "I promise that I wont let you starve."

She snorts. "I promise I wont let you implode with self-blame."

"I promise that you will never wear makeup again."

She slaps his arm. "I promise that you will never, _ever_ wear a suit again."

"I promise that we're going to cut your hair off before it's ever curled like that again."

She laughs. "I promise that we'll sleep in a bed at least once a week."

"I love you."

She rolls her eyes. "Do you, now?"

"I'm pretty sure."

"Yeah, me too."

He turns back to the preacher. "Kay, we're good."

The preacher looks back and forth between the two for a moment, his eyes briefly wandering to the laughing trio behind them, and then nods. "Fine, then. I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride… and all that…"

"Nah, I'm good."

Jacob turns to leave and is laughing before he reaches the door because Leah is punching him in the back for walking out on their kiss. The curses she's throwing at him are stopped as he picks her up and plants his lips to hers, chuckling at the animated gagging noises the others are making behind them. He comes to a stop at the double doors leading out to the parking lot and sets Leah down in front of Sue. Her mother is still quiet, her face an impassive mask. Her hands are clenched together in front of her and she makes a short snorting noise before pulling Leah in for an awkward hug.

"Where will you go?" She asks quietly into Leah's hair.

"I don't know."

"Will you check in every so often? Let me know that you're safe?"

"Yeah, I will."

"Take care of Seth?"

"I always do."

"Leah… I really am sorry. About everything."

She doesn't respond, only gives Sue one more tight squeeze and returns to Jacob as he's walking outside. It feels so good, to be leaving. She doesn't know where they're going or what they're going to do when they get there, but it doesn't really matter anymore. It doesn't have to. Their clothes are packed and they've crossed every border that's ever been put in place. Once they're out of Washington, the overwhelming sense of freedom finally settles in. There are no more rules, no more laws or treaties or borders holding them in place. Jacob's mind tries to wander back to La Push, to the people he feels he's obligated to, but Leah assures him he's done enough. He has. The Cullens are leaving and have promised to never come back, the La Push pack will have little to no worries and the people are safe from previous pending dangers. There's nothing left there for him, and he knows that she's right when she says that he's doing the right thing.

The country doesn't seem so big when you have four legs and an endless way of travel without traffic and the disruptions of everyday human life. They work odd jobs here and there, settling in one place only long enough to stock up on food and maybe some new clothes every so often. They find that they hate the northern states, having grown accustomed to warmer weather now that they have the choice. So they stick to the southern end until they reach the Atlantic Ocean. The East coast is interesting enough to keep them for a decent span of time but as soon as the lease for their cabin is up, they decide to get back to their travels. After a while they find themselves heading back West, ending up in California, renting a house on the beach barely big enough for the five of them. And they're all happy.

He's built a fire in their usual spot, a blanket spread out for her to lay down on. Her eyes are closed and her breathing is evenly spaced, her entire body relaxed and completely at ease. His mind wanders to La Push, as it does at least once a week, and he finds himself comparing then to now. She looks so different. Sun kissed, her hair shoulder length. She isn't prim or proper, no more pretending. It's just Leah. With her worn cut off shorts and t-shirt with some restaurants name they've visited somewhere along the way stamped on the front. He's sure he's different as well. The time they've spent away from their home has been like a cleanse, like therapy. There's no more burden, no more pain, no more stress or worry. The time and happiness that was stripped by phasing and the pack and vampires has been replaced. And hell, maybe it's better now. He can laugh and play and joke without conviction. The weight is gone completely. A carefree, easy feeling put in it's place. Being with Leah is still so fresh, so new, and sometimes he forgets that he was ever without her. As if that isn't even a possibility. The time has passed without hesitation and for the first time since he phased, the thought of living forever doesn't seem so bad. He doesn't want to stop phasing. It's not a burden anymore, not a curse.

Leah shifts and he watches as her face crumples up in frustration. She rolls to her back and her chest is moving a little faster, her breaths coming out in short spurts. He swears he hears a whimper before she starts muttering something in her sleep. His head tilts and he's both shocked and furious when he hears her say Sam's name, then Sue's. She rolls again and is nearly growling by the time she's rolled back to face him. He crouches down beside her and listens as she begins sucking in ragged breaths, angry sobs coming briefly before…

"No! No, no, no, no!"

He flinches. "LEAH!"

Her eyes fly open and she sits up in front of him, confused. He can see her trying to figure out what's going on, where she is. His hand rests on her thigh and before he can say a word her arms are around his neck and she's squeezing the life out of him. Literally.

"Leah… you're choking me… I cant-breathe..- let"

She lets him go and he smiles when she begins to laugh, her eyes now dancing with amusement. Must have been some dream.

"What the hell were you dreaming about?"

"I had a dream that I was at the alter… mine and Sam's wedding…you left and I said yes. He wouldn't let me leave and nobody would listen." She pauses, sighing. "It was horrible."

"Hmm." He shakes his head. "Well, that didn't really happen."

He tries desperately to push away the irritation that Sam's name immediately brings out, tries to quell the jealousy that arrives without fail every time his name leaves her lips. But… he cant. "Look we're on our honeymoon, can you please refrain from dreaming about Sam? It's a little offensive."

She rolls her eyes and yanks him down on top of her, rolling so that his arms are encasing her. "Right… our never ending honeymoon." She chuckles. "You're probably the most jealous person I've ever met."

"I'm telling you, you women have really screwed me up."

He lets out a content sigh as she nuzzles into him, her hair tickling his chin and lips. It's an amazing feeling, having her in his arms. One he'll never be able to explain. It's too much effort to try and figure it out when he hears her heart lulling him to sleep. A strong, confident sound that he's fallen asleep to every night for the past three years.

"You can rest easy knowing you married me, not that douche."

He only says it because he knows she's too far gone to respond. She's comfortable and her body has relaxed again and he knows that she'll be out like a light in a matter of minutes. It's just as well because he's following close behind, content with the woman he knows he'll have forever. With his life. His friends. His family. _Their_ family. It seems silly now, to think that he would never have anything. Bella Swan was something. The Cullens. The La Push pack. His old life. All somethings leading up to his everything, and he couldn't have asked for a better conclusion to his fucked up beginning.

**End.**

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**a/n. Longggg overdue. I know. But it's finished now. :p Hope you liked. PLEASE leave me reviews. This hit me out of nowhere and I decided to go with it so let me know what you think!**

**Loves!**


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